(photo courtesy of austin360.com)So this morning as Tucker was driving away with the girls at 7:40 am, they were smiling and waving with immense enthusiasm....and Peyton was crying. I felt sad for her....but also sad for me.
How is it that you can daydream about something for so many years, only to be so unprepared for it to actually happen?
Like any mother, I love and NEED breaks from my kids. But to have 2/3 of my children gone six hours every single day is such a big jump! And today I felt unexpectedly sad.
I wonder if it makes it harder, in some strange way, that they are SO excited about it all! Of course, I'd RATHER them be excited than crying and dreading school. But by them being so excited, it frees me up to feel that first step of letting my kids go into the big world. If they were scared or sad, I would put on my good-mom face of "you can do it!". But since they're not, I just get to simply adjust to the change.
Lexi was beaming from ear to ear when I picked her up. She was so proud and happy! She couldn't wait to see Jordyn and share with her in the world of "big school girls". So we went to pick up Jordyn.....me, Lexi, Lyric and Peyton were waiting under the tree when Lexi spotted Jordyn. She was so excited she said "Mom, can I yell for Jordyn?"
(here's where the story turns a bit sad)
And she proceeded to yell so loud and excitedly! As Jordyn drew nearer, Lexi couldn't resist....she started running as fast as she could toward Jordyn. She had her arms wide open, ready to give her a huge bear-hug! (this all felt like slow motion). Right as she was ready to fly into Jordyn with open arms, Jordyn turned abruptly away....obviously embarrassed and a little disgusted at Lexi's attempt.
And that's when my heart broke.
Lexi burst into the most gut-wrenching sobs, and was so obviously hurt by this rejection! I felt so sad and a little mad. I had to make so many split-second decisions on how to handle this! I couldn't completely be mad AT Jordyn for her feelings. I mean, she didn't pre-meditate them at all. And I didn't want Lexi to feel like a victim, but I wanted to soothe her sad heart. So I hugged her for a while, and calmly explained to Jordyn what had happened and why Lexi was so sad.
Given that my girls argue with each other 75% of their life, it's funny how effected I was by this. But it was different than the everyday offenses of who-has-who's-Barbie. I guess I just want my children to be protective of each other and certainly to never feel embarrassed of one another.
Boy, do I have a lot of prepping to do before I'm ready for Jr. High, huh?
*UPDATE*
So tonight we talked about the whole hug-rejection episode. And we concluded that Jordyn was perfectly fine giving Lexi hugs....just not at school. They agreed, and then practiced lots of running-up-and-hugging. Ahhh, that's more like it girls!
4 comments:
I have thought about the same TOO COOL topic with Ame and when that will happen. Now she still like to grab my hand and walk together, and I LOVE it too. I know sooner than I would ever want or hope she will NEVER do that again!
I could see that same senerio happening with Ame and Kaipo, but I sure hope it doesn't. She still thinks it is pretty cool to play the BIG, portective sister roll.
Time will tell, I know!
Where did our babies go????????
That is a sad story. You handled it so well, by keeping your cool. It kinda reminds me how jaacob always wanted to hug lexi and she was open to it half the time. How is Pey doing with the seperation?
WOW!! Jamie your girls are BEAUTIFUL!! Scott and I are in awe that you found us!! You are the most random commenter I've had for a long time! You look exactly the same (that is a compliment for sure)!!
We need to talk or at least email and get caught up! I'm adding you to my friends list so I can check in!
I still remember back when I was HUGE pregnant with Tori and you and Sarah were all skinny and probably thought, man I am never getting pregnant if that is what happens!! Ahhhh, Ricardo's. Good times there! Talk to you soon!
brenay@hotmail.com
I think you handled that SO well Jay! I have had more experiences like that with Jade and Josh than I would like. (ONE is too many for me, it's just so sad to see the older one reject the younger in public!) I think it is really good that you help the girls to be real about their feelings. I'm afraid Jade has learned the art of "faking it". Now when Josh is so excited to tell her something about school or something he is proud of, she turns on that "fake mom" voice and without giving her full attention, says, "WOW Josh, that is REEE-ALY cool!". We are working on it. But it's hard when they get older, it's good you are teaching them better skills at a younger age.
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