Family Friday - Ryan

I want to start something called "family friday" where I spotlight a member of my family. I will start today with my youngest sibling, my brother Ryan.

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I am the oldest of five children and my (only) brother Ryan is the youngest. There are 14 years between us!

(my mom, pregnant with Ryan 1991)

I will never forget when my parents told us that my mom was pregnant with Ryan. I was the ripe old selfish age of 14, and I was admittedly a little disappointed. I hate to say that now, but I was! None of my friends had 5 kids in their family and it felt like my mom may as well be having her 100^th kid. My sadness didn’t last too long, however, and before I knew it I had my first and only brother and THAT was exciting! I’m pretty sure Ryan never got put down as a baby and I remember wanting to hold him forever and ever.

(Ryan, 22 months old)

In many ways, I was Ryan’s second mother. Being the oldest child, I was able to babysit and help a lot, and always felt motherly feelings toward my younger siblings (although they liked to put it as me being bossy!). I was always so proud of how cute he was and loved how much everyone doted over him. I was so proud, in fact, of my brother that that is precisely what my nickname for him was: “Brother”.

(Me and Ryan, 1997 at my cousin Michael's airport mission homecoming)

(Ryan (10), me, Tucker and Kristy (12) visiting Bear Lake with us in 2001)

I graduated from High School and moved away from home when Ryan was only 4 years old, so Ryan didn’t really know me as a sibling the first part of his life. I was more like an aunt to him. I’d see him when I’d come home to visit, but a 14 year gap equals completely different worlds. Ryan was always so quiet on the outside and I would try to relate to him, but I could tell that – even though he was quiet - his brain was observing and absorbing everything around him.

(Ryan in 2003 holding brand new baby Lexi)

Ryan is now 17 years old, and a senior in High School. He is also 6 feet tall and not so “little” anymore. Ryan is intelligent, insightful, funny and handsome. And it’s funny, but I still feel protective of him and motherly toward him. It has been fun to live near him over the past five years and to really get to know him. One of my favorite things is to see Ryan with my girls. He loves his nieces and nephew so much and you can tell they make his heart melt. Ryan LOVES to babysit them (with the exception of any dirty diapers) and, in fact, is Peyton’s permanent sitter while I take the older girls to piano! What a great uncle he is.

(Ryan and my Dad boating at Shaver Lake in 2003)

Ryan has been able to be in the scouting program with Tucker for the past few years, and Tucker has loved having Ryan along for the adventures of scuba diving, hiking, camping, and all the other crazy things they do. I love seeing my husband and brother have a relationship and to have fun together!

(Tucker and Ryan having a kool-aid toast New Year's Eve 2008)

(Tucker and Ryan with their scout troop on their trip to Zion's National Park, summer 2007)

There have been times in my life when I’ve had twinges of “it’s not fair” when I’ve seen some of the advantages Ryan has being the youngest that were not available to me as the oldest child. But I’ve come to understand that we all play an irreplaceable role in our family and no one is luckier than the other. Ryan has benefits of being the youngest that I may not have had, but he also has different challenges that I also didn’t have. For example, he has four older sisters and two brothers-in-law telling him what THEY think he should do all the time! I must say, he takes it “like a man” and loves us still the same.

(Ryan last week at the scout officer retreat on the speedtrack)

I hope Ryan knows how much my family and I love him and what an important role he plays in our lives! Thanks for being YOU, Ryan!

Speechless

Sadly, I didn't feel like I had anything worth auctioning for this amazing cause (although, I COULD auction off a basket of lots and lots of shampoo and conditioner!!! Heaven knows I have it in stock. Many brands. If you're interested...)

But I need to direct you to this link in the rare case you haven't seen it yourself yet! It is absolutely incredible! There are over 275 things being auctioned off, with all proceeds going to Nienie's family. I am just completely amazed by this. To see a list of the auctions, go HERE.

Want a peak into my brain?

Today we heard a loud crash in the house and so the kids and I went to investigate. To my dismay, I walked in the laundry room to see this. A shelf that was PACKED full of stuff (crap) plus TONS of clothes were hanging below....came crashing to the ground. After 4 1/2 years of doing its job, it decided it was done.

Are you kidding me? is all I can think. I've walked by this mess a few times since it happened, and I cannot bring myself to even pick up one single piece of it. I wish I could close my eyes and have it go away. It makes me feel tired and annoyed. And really, it represents how my brain feels right now! Cluttered, messy, and really tired!

Laugh of the Day

Today, Lexi was leaning on the couch next to me, telling me about her day at school. As we were talking, Peyton came up behind Lexi and was trying to pull down the back of her pants. I couldn't figure out why, so I said "Pey, what are you doing?" and she said "Lexi's poopy Mommy?", as she was digging to see.

Lexi's almost 5 and since there was no chance she was poopy, she and I had a really good laugh out of this one!

I don't think there is anything in the world that makes me happier than to see my girls play and love each other. Lexi is three years older than Peyton....which has been GREAT. They are close enough in age to still enjoy playing, but Lexi is just enough older to realize that Peyton is little and she doesn't engage in lots of fighting with her. I will usually hear "Moooooom, Peyton is pulling my hair!!!". Which is so much better than her just pulling Pey's hair back! That's more what I've always had with Jordyn and Lexi. Jordyn is only 19 months older than Lexi, and the age gap is much less apparent these days with those two. So it's sort of a level playing field with them!

This is Lexi indulging in Peyton's current favorite of "Motor boat, motor boat..."

Depression

For anyone who has ever struggled with depression in their own life, or via the life of a loved one....I stumbled across this post and found it insightful and real. Check it out: http://therinrins.typepad.com/our_little_life/2008/08/im-going-to-talk-about-depression.html

Whether circumstancial...or hormonal....or chemical......it's real, it's hard and it's like a silent taboo version of a cancer. I can't imagine a human being who hasn't been affected by this, one way or another.

(I hope she doesn't mind me - a stranger - linking this! She's a great writer. And the picture-evolution analogy is so cool)

Keys to Motherhood

Thanks to my friend Tricia for posting this on her blog today. I needed to read this more than she will ever know. I need to print this all over my house right now and read it over and over until it becomes part of my brain permanently.

Tricia attended Education Week at BYU, where she was able to hear a talk by author Daryl Hoole. I copied the highlights directly from Tricia's blog because I NEED this on my blog! (Thanks Tricia!)

It's Tune-Up Time by Daryl Hoole
~Be of Good Cheer - blessed is the home in which the mother is cheerful!
~Go to bed realizing what you DID do instead of what you DID NOT do!
~CHEERFUL mothers draw their children to them.
~THE IDEAL HOME - Managing a home involves much more than keeping a house clean, neat, organized and attractive. These skills are important, but they're the means to a greater end. The paramount objective is to create a setting where family and friends are comfortable and happy, where there are good dinners and good times, where there is fun and laughter, where children are taught life skills and how to be self reliant, where challenges are faced by coupling temporal affairs with eternal perspectives, where joy through gospel teaching and living prevails, where love is strong enough to bind the family forever, and where family members are nurtured toward eternal life.

Another Successful Night

So tonight was another couponing extravaganza for my sister and I! We went to three Walgreens and one Rite Aid. Here's the outcome:

Total Retail Value: $222
Total I Spent: $42
Total Savings: $180

Not bad! I think my dreams will be filled with the "beeping" of coupons because we heard SO many tonight!

A Feeling

(pic from http://blog.fotolia.com/us)

I can't remember the last time I was effected by something in the way that I have been from the moment I heard of Stephanie's (Nie) plane crash. I only 'know' this family through the 'blogosphere', but I check cjane's website multiple times per day for possible updates. This morning's post in particular brought many tears to my eyes. I am astounded at the amount of heartbreak I feel for the journey this family (especially the children) is preparing to endure, but also, at the same time, the amount of hope and upliftment (is that a word?) with which my heart has been filled. I have a constant prayer in my heart for miracles to happen for them.



A Funny

Well, this isn't all funny. But I found a peek of joy in it. Last night, I went to bed early. 11:00 is really early for me, and I was proud of myself. So, imagine my disappointment when my 22 month old started to cry at 1:15. This happens often, but it's usually a 2 minute thing. I could tell from the moment I heard it that it was going to be a long one (and I was right, she was wide awake for 2 1/2 hours). So after many attempts of snuggling in bed with mom, then going back to her bed, cry and repeat...she finally seemed content to stay in her bed, although wide awake. So I was laying in my bed frustrated, and all of the sudden she decides to sing. I hear "Do, Re, Mi, Fa, So!", and "Wing awoun Posies, Ashes Ashes, all pall down!"....over and over and over. And with such enthusiasm, I had to get up and see if one of her sisters was actually in there playing with her! Nope, just happy little Peyton! Finding "joy in the journey", right?



A Flashback Friday!

Oh my gosh, I was so excited yesterday! I found the blog of my friend Erica, whom I haven't been in touch with for nearly 10 years! I've wondered over and over how she is, but never knew how to find her! I don't know why it barely occurred to me, but I did a few searches for her blog (luckily I knew her married name!) and what do ya know? I found it! How fun it was to catch up with her and her four kids! Erica was a friend to me during a couple very formative years of my early adult life (probably 19-21) and she probably doesn't know it, but made a big impact on me! Erica, I'm so glad we can stay in touch now! Here are some funny pictures of 10+ years ago...Erica....I'm emailing you!

Too Cool at age 6 - What? *Updated*

(photo courtesy of austin360.com)

So this morning as Tucker was driving away with the girls at 7:40 am, they were smiling and waving with immense enthusiasm....and Peyton was crying. I felt sad for her....but also sad for me.

How is it that you can daydream about something for so many years, only to be so unprepared for it to actually happen?

Like any mother, I love and NEED breaks from my kids. But to have 2/3 of my children gone six hours every single day is such a big jump! And today I felt unexpectedly sad.

I wonder if it makes it harder, in some strange way, that they are SO excited about it all! Of course, I'd RATHER them be excited than crying and dreading school. But by them being so excited, it frees me up to feel that first step of letting my kids go into the big world. If they were scared or sad, I would put on my good-mom face of "you can do it!". But since they're not, I just get to simply adjust to the change.

Lexi was beaming from ear to ear when I picked her up. She was so proud and happy! She couldn't wait to see Jordyn and share with her in the world of "big school girls". So we went to pick up Jordyn.....me, Lexi, Lyric and Peyton were waiting under the tree when Lexi spotted Jordyn. She was so excited she said "Mom, can I yell for Jordyn?"

(here's where the story turns a bit sad)

And she proceeded to yell so loud and excitedly! As Jordyn drew nearer, Lexi couldn't resist....she started running as fast as she could toward Jordyn. She had her arms wide open, ready to give her a huge bear-hug! (this all felt like slow motion). Right as she was ready to fly into Jordyn with open arms, Jordyn turned abruptly away....obviously embarrassed and a little disgusted at Lexi's attempt.

And that's when my heart broke.

Lexi burst into the most gut-wrenching sobs, and was so obviously hurt by this rejection! I felt so sad and a little mad. I had to make so many split-second decisions on how to handle this! I couldn't completely be mad AT Jordyn for her feelings. I mean, she didn't pre-meditate them at all. And I didn't want Lexi to feel like a victim, but I wanted to soothe her sad heart. So I hugged her for a while, and calmly explained to Jordyn what had happened and why Lexi was so sad.

Given that my girls argue with each other 75% of their life, it's funny how effected I was by this. But it was different than the everyday offenses of who-has-who's-Barbie. I guess I just want my children to be protective of each other and certainly to never feel embarrassed of one another.

Boy, do I have a lot of prepping to do before I'm ready for Jr. High, huh?

*UPDATE*
So tonight we talked about the whole hug-rejection episode. And we concluded that Jordyn was perfectly fine giving Lexi hugs....just not at school. They agreed, and then practiced lots of running-up-and-hugging. Ahhh, that's more like it girls!

Back to School!

So today was the first day of 1st grade for Jordyn, and first partial day of kindergarten for Lexi!

Jordyn goes to school from 7:55-2:05
Lexi goes to school from 8:15-1:45
Me and Pey: Have lots of one-on-one time now!

Today was a great day! The girls were so excited! They could hardly eat breakfast due to excitement. Neither seemed very nervous! Even my self-proclaimed shy child, Lexi, did really well when she met her teacher and even said her name semi-audibly!

The only bad part of the day was when I locked my keys in my car, and had to walk around for 2 1/2 hours with two hungry and tired kids waiting for roadside assistance (where did they come from, San Diego?). Oh my gosh. That was frustrating. Other than that, the day was great!

This pic below is a fun comparison! If you look closely, you'll see Jordyn on the left on HER first day of Kindergarten just one year ago, and Lexi on the right TODAY. The funny part is that Lexi absolutely insisted that she wear this shirt and have her hair in braids....having no clue that Jordyn did the SAME thing on her first day of Kindergarten! Isn't that funny? She has some new shirts, but insisted on this one!

What cute sisters! Best friends forever!

Thanks a million, Lindy, for having Lexi and Pey during Kindergarten parent orientation!!!

Lexi and her good friend Maddie!

My little ham, Jordyn. Feeling like a big first grader!

First Day of School - For Gma

Photo Sharing - Video Sharing - Photo Printing - Photo Books

From Peyton: The Shoe Thief

"I am obsessed with shoes. Completely obsessed. I can especially sense when friends or family (i.e. Cousin Lyric!) come over who have a particular aversion to their shoes being stolen or touched by me and I head straight for THAT pair. Yep, I have very keen *shoe-radar*."

"But I really think my favorite shoes so far are my Uncle Ryan's size 13 brand new school shoes! He tried to hide them from me today, but I quickly found them and took them for a ride. Don't they look good with my pretty dress? I got it in the mail from Grandma yesterday and I look so cute in it!"

"My mommy says I'm TOO much! But I try my best to be polite because when I don't want my mommy to do something (like turn off the bath water) I just say "PLEASE DON'T MOMMY!" For some reason, mommy think that is really funny!".

Love, Peyton

Back To School Celebration

Admittedly, I derived this idea for a "back to school" celebration dinner from Stephanie (from nieniedialogues). And sadly, I learned that she was in a critical plane crash this past weekend. It's amazing how you can feel so connected to people in "blogland" that you've never met in real life, but this news has saddened me all day long.

I started telling the kids about this dinner last week. I asked them their menu requests, and they were as follows:

Jordyn: salad and noodles

Lexi: rice and corn

Both: Ice Cream for dessert!

We had a fun dinner, filled with all of their requests (except noodles, we had chicken instead) and special drinks, crowns and even some magic shell topping on the ice cream. What a fun tradition I hope to continue each school year. Good luck girls!!!!!

(Jordyn also got to meet her teacher today! The only problem is.....she is having a baby in one week!!!!! Long term sub coming her way! :-(

Beauty Queens

Jordyn and Lexi had their first non-mom haircut. In preparation for school to start (in 2 days!), I thought it would be nice to get Jordyn's amateur short haircut shaped a little more by a professional....and Lexi just had a little trim for the fun of it all.

We just hopped over to Super Wal-Mart and it was quick and painless! $9.95 each (still too much, in my opinion, for a 5 minute cut). By the way, you could honestly live at Wal-Mart. You could shop, get a pedicure, get your hair cut, go to the doctor, eat at McDonalds, get your eyes checked and get your tires & oil changed all in one stop. Whew!

Olympic Fun

We've really loved watching the Olympics this year! I think my favorites are the diving and the gymnastics. The swimming is incredible (Go Phelps and Torres....) but oh my gosh, it gives me anxiety. I mean, to lose by one one-hundreth of a second? No way, that would totally kill me.

As a kid, we always watched the Olympics in our house. I remember when I first found out that the Olympics only lasted a few weeks....I was shocked! I could've sworn it was on half of the year! That's probably because when its on, its ON. ALL the time. That's all our TV has been tuned to since it began.

The "closest" I've been to the Olympics were the SLC Winter Olympics in 2002. We were lucky enough to have Tucker's Mom on the Olympic Committee, the education department. We got free tickets to so many events, including the Opening AND Closing Ceremonies! Tucker loved every single second of it, and I tried as hard as I could, but unfortunately I was really sick and pregnant with child #1 and that ruled every waking moment for me.

And now, Tucker's brother Derek lives in China (he's a professional stunt diver) and we got a text that he's on his way to Beijing now! Lucky.

By the way, I really have never seen anything like the Olympic Racewalking. Really. It is quite a sight to see, and a bit strange. Their bodies move in ways I have never seen before! If you haven't seen it, check it out...

(racewalking.com)

Getting to Know You

I love these questionnaires that Katie does on her kids' birthdays so much, that I wanted to do them too! From here on out, I will do them on their birthday, but for now it was just a random day! It's a fun way to get to know your kids a little better, and how their brains work. I was caught off guard by a few answers!!! These are raw, unscripted and unsolicited answers!

Jordyn Lyn – Age 6

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*If you could have one super-power, what would it be? That’s a hard one. To fly.

· What was the last chore you did? Practice piano.

· What is your favorite song? Gotta Go My Own Way (HSM)

· What's your favorite food? Salad

· What's the nicest thing you've done for someone in your family lately? Help mom clean.

· What makes you mad? When Lexi is mean to me.

· Where would you like to go on vacation next year? Hawaii.

· Who's the smartest person in your family? Mommy Why? Because she remembers stuff.

· How are you like your dad? We both like chicken.

· How are you like your mom? We both have freckles.

· What's one thing that your dad has that you'd like to develop? He works out.

· What's one thing that Dad always says to you? “I love you”

· What's one thing that you and Dad did together that you'll always remember? Swim, and when he chases me in the pool.

· If you had a million dollars, what's the first thing you'd buy? Baby Alive.

· How do you know that I (mom) love you? You wash laundry for me.

· What's your favorite cereal? Lucky Charms

· What's your favorite TV show? Caillou

· What's your favorite vegetable? carrots

· What is a personal item that you would never give away? Our red Barbie cars.

· What's your favorite game? Uno

· What's your favorite book? Fred and Ted

· What food would you eat every day if you could? Salad

· If you could choose a different name, what would it be? Gabriella

· What's the scariest thing you've ever done? Accidentally hold a crab at the beach.

· If you could eat at any restaurant for the rest of your life, where would it be? Chili’s

· What's your favorite candy bar? Chocolate

· What's the last thing that you did that you were proud of? I didn’t pull a card in Kindergarten – well I did pull one card – but not the rest of the year.

· What's the best age to be? 8

· What's your favorite holiday? Christmas

· What's the best present you ever got? My Sharpay doll

· What's your greatest words of wisdom at age 6? Be kind.

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Lexi Leilani – Age 4 1/2

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*If you could have one super-power, what would it be? Turn into a guinea pig (like on Sky High, the movie)

· What was the last chore you did? Clean my room.

· What is your favorite song? Gotta Go My Own Way (HSM)

· What's your favorite food? Pizza and Hot dogs.

· What's the nicest thing you've done for someone in your family lately? Eat all my food (for mom).

· What makes you mad? When Jordyn hits me.

· Where would you like to go on vacation next year? The zoo.

· Who's the smartest person in your family? Daddy Why? Because after we eat our lunch all, he gives us chips.

· How are you like your dad? We both sleep.

· How are you like your mom? I like to make food.

· What's one thing that your dad has that you'd like to develop? Make my own lunch by myself.

· What's one thing that Dad always says to you? “Listen and obey the first time”

· What's one thing that you and Dad did together that you'll always remember? We both threw up on the way home from Bear Lake.

· If you had a million dollars, what's the first thing you'd buy? Chocolate Candy.

· How do you know that I (mom) love you? Because I’m your Hawaiian flower (Leilani)

· What's your favorite cereal? Rice Krispies

· What's your favorite TV show? Curious George

· What's your favorite vegetable? corn

· What is a personal item that you would never give away? My mommy.

· What's your favorite game? Go Fish

· What's your favorite book? My Princess Book

· What food would you eat every day if you could? Cinnamon Toast

· If you could choose a different name, what would it be? Ariel

· What's the scariest thing you've ever done? When I got trapped in the treadmill.

· If you could eat at any restaurant for the rest of your life, where would it be? Chili’s

· What's your favorite candy? Cotton Candy.

· What's the last thing that you did that you were proud of? Got the right answers in my kindergarten assessment.

· What's the best age to be? 6

· What's your favorite holiday? Easter

· What's the best present you ever got? Make-up

· What are your greatest words of wisdom at age 6? That we all have a light inside.

Friends, Panties, School and Teeth

I have been in such a frozen state lately! Maybe more mentally than anything. I feel like I must be actually cleaning my house only in my head because everywhere I turn it looks actually worse, no matter how much I do. But, I think the basis of my mental-paralysis is actually denial that school is starting in one week. For some reason, I feel sort of blue about the whole thing. A little part of me dreads the routine (although I actually feel happier once I'm in one) that school brings. Every morning its like we have to shoot out of a cannon to get going fast, and every evening is full of homework, family time, any extra-curricular activities, baths.......and all on a very specific early-to-bed time-line so they can wake up and handle it all again the next day. I've really enjoyed our sleeping in, lax, flexible summer. And, as a pleasant surprise, the kids haven't driven me crazy this summer. I don't feel claustrophobic like I thought I would, or even "ready" for them to be gone all day.

Part of my sadness is the (obvious) fact that each year they will keep going into an older grade. I mean, that sounds so wierd. But last year, there was lots of anticipation and excitement when Jordyn started Kindergarten because it was all new. But now, I want her to just start Kindergarten over and over and over and not keep getting older!

And also, with Jordyn and Lexi in school, what are me and Peyton going to do for six hours? Don't get me wrong, it sounds heavenly in many ways. But as the third child, Peyton only knows life with her entertaining older sisters around. Now she'll just be with boring old mom all day! I think *this* is when many people have more babies ;-)

So, event through my mentally frozen state, I've managed to do a few noteworthy things. I literally felt like I didn't do anything worthwhile today (prob because my to-do list is so long still), and I sat around mindlessly on my computer way too much, but here are a few highlights:

Heather and Jason are some of our good friends who moved a few months ago (like everyone else) but they only moved 20 minutes away. So I had their kids over today to play. Kylie and Lexi are the same age and call each other "best friend", and Collin is 10 months older than Peyton. It's a fun bunch. (Lexi really was having fun, she just couldn't peel her eyes away from the movie to smile).

Peyton liked having a rough & tumble type play with Collin today! I tell ya, this LoveSac is one of our best "toys". The kids jump, fall, and play on it all day long.

I'm continuing the dreaded process of organizing all sorts of girls' clothing, getting ready for school mornings!

Jordyn lost her second tooth (well, third if you count the one the dentist had to pull 18 months ago that is STILL an empty spot) last night! I get so completely grossed out by loose teeth. I absolutely can't deal with it, so it's Tucker's job. But last night in the car it just fell out while she was talking! That is MY kind of tooth loss!

I seriously get a kick out of Peyton every single day (we ALL do). She's a funny kid. So tonight I was playing on the floor with her, and suddenly she got up and laid down on her stomach and said "Horsie Mommy!". I didn't get it at first, and finally Jordyn said "Mom, she wants to be the horsie for you". So I thought, what the heck! And sure enough, that's what she wanted, so I "sat" on her for a horsie ride!

My cute mother-in-law has herself believing that I'm a good at flower arrangements. She's had me do two for her house so far, and I guess when someone else believes something, it makes you think you can? They turned out decent, so Tucker keeps asking when I'm going to do an arrangement for our house. Even though I feel extremely amateur, I finally bought some flowers at Michael's and attempted one for our dining room table. I don't think this pic shows it very well, but you get the idea.

And finally....this probably deserves it's own post....but we're still working on Pey's potty training. I CANNOT stress this enough that this was HER idea. I know you're probably thinking I'm on crack because she is only 22 months old, but I swear it is totally her idea! She's been interested since 19 months old. For months, she would take off her diaper and get annoyed when she was wet, or had to pee. So finally, last week, I decided to give it an official try. I kept getting afraid that the "window" would pass of her willingness! We still have a few accidents a day, but by accident I mean that she starts to pee (forgetting for a second that there is no diaper) then totally stops herself and says "Mommy, potty!!" and we run to the potty and she goes a ton of pee! Many other times, I just take her. Around every hour. And she willingly goes each and every time. She is a great little wiper too. It's just so funny to me, but it is totally her personality! I'm afraid there isn't any turning back now because when I put a diaper on her, she will soon tell me "mommy, pee pee" and try taking it off. This is not even a LITTLE bit how my other two were to potty train, and if she were my first, I would probably be a lot more judgemental of others who had 2-3 year olds that weren't trained. But I really know that this is NOT me, it's all her. She just "gets it".