It's Back to School!

For both the kids and I.

I've had mixed feelings about the break (which I probably share with every other mother out there). On one hand, I LOVED the break from our normal schedule. It was nice to lounge in pajamas a little longer in the mornings and stay up later at night.

But on the other hand, I feel happier when I'm organized and have structure. And school brings that structure. Jordyn is ready too. She's been asking telling me every day that she can't wait to go back to school!

Tomorrow marks the first day of my fourth online class with National University. A few months ago, I decided it felt like a good time to get my teaching credential and opted for the online program. That way, I hardly ever have to leave the kids and I can do most of it online in the evenings. Each class is 4 weeks long. I tell ya, getting a credential for the state of California is no easy task. There are lots of tests to pass, classes to take, and programs to fulfill.

The reasons I'm doing this? Well, there are many. I think that having a teaching credential opens possibilities for the future. I don't have definite plans to teach full time yet, but there are part-time options that may be a possibility over the next few years.

I will finish my courses in June and then can student teach in the fall. But this also causes me anxiety for three reasons:

Anxiety #1) I haven't needed child care with any of my children. To step into this unknown world for 4-5 months causes me anxiety. When you student teach, you keep full time hours just as the teacher. So, my kids would need to go somewhere after school, and I'd have Pey go somewhere 7 hours per day. Ugh. It gives me a headache to think about. And on top of that, I'd have to pay for all the extra child care....without getting a penny for student teaching. We'll see. I have 5 years to complete my credential once I start, so I have the option to postpone it somewhat.

Anxiety #2) Will I need to put Lexi in childcare along with Peyton? Or not? There is no right answer for this question. It just depends on if Tucker and I decide to start Lexi in Kindergarten next year. She makes our cut-off in CA by a few weeks. I've worried about this for over 4 years, and now that Kindergarten registration is around the corner, we've got to decide. She and Jordyn would be 1 year apart in school. Which could be good and bad. I've talked about this till I'm blue in the face, and I hear all sorts of stories both pro and con. I just want to make sure I pick the right thing because the kids in her grade will be her closest friends. I wish I could see into the future and know what to do!

Anxiety #3) What if we decide to have ONE more baby? Should I do it now and postpone the student teaching? Or should I get the student teaching done with and then possibly have another baby? If I'm gonna do it one last time, I don't really want a big gap, I just want to get it done with. And, what if I'm just insane for even thinking about a fourth baby? I mean, am I really cut out to have FOUR kids? Or is four not really that different than three? You're already outnumbered, right? OK, I'm gonna stop this here because this subject alone could lend itself to a long and boring analysis. I've already given you too much of a peek into the "cluttered mind of Jamie".