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I’m not one who publicly ‘dotes” over my husband much. I’m not sure why….I guess it just doesn’t fit with my personality. But when I read other people’s feelings for their husbands, it inspires me and makes me want to continue to look for the good in my own relationship.
We’ve been married almost 8 years (how did THAT happen?). And it seems so hard to weed through the busyness of each day and to remember that Tucker and I are not JUST business partners in this whole deal! Sometimes, when its late at night and quiet and everyone is sleeping (including him) I find myself pondering many feelings about my life that tend to stay buried underneath the noise, tasks and stress of the day.
Last night was one of those nights. It’s amazing how much you can love your children – with any previous frustration from the day melting away – when they are sound asleep in their beds! I often go in their rooms and check on them and feel so overwhelmed with love and thankfulness to be their mom. So, last night, as I crawled in bed, for a brief moment I had feelings as though I was viewing my life from a distance – which helps me to evaluate it better. And I immediately re-realized how blessed I feel for the husband I have.
There is no way in the world you can fully comprehend – before you get married – what a HUGE thing you’re signing on for. How truly intertwined your life becomes with this other person. Every decision is made in reflection of your spouse’s opinion. Meaning, they either agree or disagree with your viewpoint….and you have to learn to compromise. This can vary in degrees of difficulty depending on personalities involved.
Somehow, I got a husband who is easy to compromise with. He is patient and positive. He listens without getting upset. He even puts up with my controlling nature and gives me constructive criticism (in the right way). He makes me feel like I can be 100% myself. He has definite and strong opinions, but he’s okay when mine are different. He’s confident in himself. He’s happy. He’s fun. He accepts everyone.
I only have two complaints. Really, I can only think of two (and he knows these):
1. He buys too many clothes. When he’s in a mode of shirts, he has to buy every single color or pattern made. We’ve been through Polo shirts, long sleeve button up shirts, ties, and now its Hawaiian shirts. Its so insignificant, but for some reason it really bugs my “moderation in all things” personality.
2. He can’t hear me AT ALL when he’s watching a T.V. show or movie. I’ve really backed off on this one. We used to get into a LOT of unneccesary arguments about this one. The DVR has really helped our marriage. I can now say “pause it!”
The part that you REALLY don’t know before you get married is what kind of parent they’ll be. I would closely watch Tucker with his nieces and nephews and *hope* that was a glimpse into what kind of dad he’d be. Little did I know it did represent how he’d be, but it was only a TINY portion of what kind of dad he is! It’s really hit me lately how HUGE of a thing it is to choose to raise children with someone else. I am lucky that I ‘picked’ a good one! I feel so happy that my girls will grow up with their first, and primary, relationship with a male being such a healthy, loving, affectionate and interactive one. I love to watch Tucker with his girls. I love that he is 100% in this parenting thing with me. He has always been willing to feed them, bathe them, dress them, change poopy diapers, get up with them in the night, take them anywhere he goes, read to them, play with them, teach them…..there is not a single part of the whole parenting thing he will NOT do. He is truly my partner.
And lastly, I am thankful that he is a motivated person. He works hard at his job and really loves it. He supports my choice (our choice) of being a stay-at-home mom right now. Before we had kids, he feared this and wasn’t sure we could do it. But now, he wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m thankful to have a choice. He also works hard at his calling for the church. He loves to be the Venture Scout Leader and is passionate about the success of these boys (there are like 14 of them).
All in all, Tucker and I make a good team. Maybe either one of us would not be as successful or happy if we were with someone else? Who knows. But together we are a successful combination! Right now my girls are obsessed with being “lucky”. So, since Christmas they keep asking me “Mom, are we luckier than so-and-so because we got this-n-that?”. I keep trying to teach them that “EVERYONE is lucky….just in different ways”. And that’s how I feel about my marriage. I’m lucky in my own special way.
I love you Tucker!
We’ve been married almost 8 years (how did THAT happen?). And it seems so hard to weed through the busyness of each day and to remember that Tucker and I are not JUST business partners in this whole deal! Sometimes, when its late at night and quiet and everyone is sleeping (including him) I find myself pondering many feelings about my life that tend to stay buried underneath the noise, tasks and stress of the day.
Last night was one of those nights. It’s amazing how much you can love your children – with any previous frustration from the day melting away – when they are sound asleep in their beds! I often go in their rooms and check on them and feel so overwhelmed with love and thankfulness to be their mom. So, last night, as I crawled in bed, for a brief moment I had feelings as though I was viewing my life from a distance – which helps me to evaluate it better. And I immediately re-realized how blessed I feel for the husband I have.
There is no way in the world you can fully comprehend – before you get married – what a HUGE thing you’re signing on for. How truly intertwined your life becomes with this other person. Every decision is made in reflection of your spouse’s opinion. Meaning, they either agree or disagree with your viewpoint….and you have to learn to compromise. This can vary in degrees of difficulty depending on personalities involved.
Somehow, I got a husband who is easy to compromise with. He is patient and positive. He listens without getting upset. He even puts up with my controlling nature and gives me constructive criticism (in the right way). He makes me feel like I can be 100% myself. He has definite and strong opinions, but he’s okay when mine are different. He’s confident in himself. He’s happy. He’s fun. He accepts everyone.
I only have two complaints. Really, I can only think of two (and he knows these):
1. He buys too many clothes. When he’s in a mode of shirts, he has to buy every single color or pattern made. We’ve been through Polo shirts, long sleeve button up shirts, ties, and now its Hawaiian shirts. Its so insignificant, but for some reason it really bugs my “moderation in all things” personality.
2. He can’t hear me AT ALL when he’s watching a T.V. show or movie. I’ve really backed off on this one. We used to get into a LOT of unneccesary arguments about this one. The DVR has really helped our marriage. I can now say “pause it!”
The part that you REALLY don’t know before you get married is what kind of parent they’ll be. I would closely watch Tucker with his nieces and nephews and *hope* that was a glimpse into what kind of dad he’d be. Little did I know it did represent how he’d be, but it was only a TINY portion of what kind of dad he is! It’s really hit me lately how HUGE of a thing it is to choose to raise children with someone else. I am lucky that I ‘picked’ a good one! I feel so happy that my girls will grow up with their first, and primary, relationship with a male being such a healthy, loving, affectionate and interactive one. I love to watch Tucker with his girls. I love that he is 100% in this parenting thing with me. He has always been willing to feed them, bathe them, dress them, change poopy diapers, get up with them in the night, take them anywhere he goes, read to them, play with them, teach them…..there is not a single part of the whole parenting thing he will NOT do. He is truly my partner.
And lastly, I am thankful that he is a motivated person. He works hard at his job and really loves it. He supports my choice (our choice) of being a stay-at-home mom right now. Before we had kids, he feared this and wasn’t sure we could do it. But now, he wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m thankful to have a choice. He also works hard at his calling for the church. He loves to be the Venture Scout Leader and is passionate about the success of these boys (there are like 14 of them).
All in all, Tucker and I make a good team. Maybe either one of us would not be as successful or happy if we were with someone else? Who knows. But together we are a successful combination! Right now my girls are obsessed with being “lucky”. So, since Christmas they keep asking me “Mom, are we luckier than so-and-so because we got this-n-that?”. I keep trying to teach them that “EVERYONE is lucky….just in different ways”. And that’s how I feel about my marriage. I’m lucky in my own special way.
I love you Tucker!
5 comments:
wow! That's a nice post. You and Tucker are a great couple. It is such a blessing in a world of "unlucky" couples. I was watching the "sound of music" a 100x's with Lindsay and there is a song I love which says "somewhere in my youth and childhood, I must of done something good." I think that song is true. you and Tucker are lucky because you did your part before you met. I hope I can teach my kids to do their own part, and know themselves before they try to combine their lives with someone else.
I LOVED reading this, Jamie! You and Tucker DO make a great team, and I have felt that way since that first night at Ricardo's when I saw you two together! I often have very similar feelings about Chris and a dominant thought on my mind is what a miracle it is that of all the people in the world, two people can find each other and make a life together! A good and happy life together! I remember watching your wedding video on a P-day in Florida on my mission, thinking, yep, this is a GREAT couple, and also thinking how I hoped I would have that for myself one day! Thanks for sharing this and thanks for being one of Chris and I's favorite couples!! Love you guys!
What a sweet post about your husband. As I look through my posts I notice that I do not write too much about my husband. It is not because I do not love him, it is because he is gone half the day working and I spend all of my time with the kids. As I sit here and ponder about my husband all that he has done for me, it makes me truly love him more. Thanks for that! Thanks for the fun post, he sounds like a great guy.
I am so happy for you, Jamie! You did pick a great guy. Don't forget that he picked out a really amazing woman, too. Together you can do anything!
Thanks for that Jamie, it is so nice to hear uplifting comments about a husband and wife who are so in sync. I love my husband also and as I read your comments my thoughts were turned to how much Matt means to me.
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