I so often get frustrated too easily at my kids. I always wonder if it's just ME that's feeling overly-irritated....or if the thing that is causing the irritation really and truly is THAT irritating (did you follow that?).
I pick my kids up from school each day and, in all honesty, I really am excited to see them! I want to hear about their day, I love getting a hug and seeing them run up to me, and I feel refreshed after a 6 hour break. But within 30 seconds of them both (Jordyn and Lexi) being in the car, the fighting starts and I forget all of that warm fuzzy stuff and think "ugh, here we go again". Now, to their credit, it's not every single day.....but often it's 4/5 of the school days. Like today, Lexi had a candy cane from school. It seems that every day at least one of the two have some sort of treat from school....and are really excited to show their sister (aka: rub it in) and instead of saying "that's' cool" or "that's fun" like I've taught them, the other sister usually starts crying and says "I won't be your sister anymore since you're not sharing". Then I hear "MOOOOOM, she said she won't be my sister!!!". Then crying and more mean stuff, etc, etc. on and on and on.
Sometimes I get upset and demand quietness. Other times I say "work it out yourselves!" and just ignore it. But either way, it irritates me sooo bad! Because then it sets the tone for the afternoon. Sometimes (I praise the days when) it ends pretty quick. But other days, it will last all afternoon no matter WHAT I do.
I tell ya, the sibling rivalry is a hard one for me. I remember when it started (the mild beginning was when Jordyn was 2 1/2 and Lexi was 1) I thought "whoa.... I wasn't prepared for THIS!". And years later, I'm still not! To my credit, I'm a little more used to it and I have a little more patience. But it can still make me feel like running away!
I've tried so many things....consequences (good and bad), charts, pulling cards, time outs, etc. But I don't think there is a real cure. Just part of growing up. I think my kids would be abnormal if they didn't. I just wish I didn't get so bugged by it!
Somehow, it all balances out (sometimes) that Jordyn and Lexi are eachother's best friend too. You take the good with the bad, right?
6 comments:
I can relate to some degree, but I think I will be able to relate more in a few years, just with boys. It's a part of mother hood I didn't think much about. Nobody prepares you to handle it. I've seen you in action though and your more patient than me.
I am so in the middle of this but since they are still so young it's so physical. It started a year ago and every day it just gets worse Sometimes I just want to cry because it is so darn frustrating. I think they have an average of two fights per hour. I just keep thinking it has to get better right? Like you said the great part is that they are each other's best friends.
There is a book that I've heard a lot of good things about, "Siblings without Rivalry". I haven't read it, but I want to. Maybe you should see if your library has it, read it, and then give me a review?
Jamie I am with you since all of our girls are the same age. Zoey starts it constantly, always trying to get something going. I feel like I am constantly yelling. But nothing works. It makes me sad as well. Thanks for all your blog support your so cute.
I LOVE when I am in the middle of commenting and the computer just exits or turns off for no apparent reason.
Anyway, I was saying I read this post and related 100%. The feeling of refreshment after being apart and how quickly the feeling of peace disappears! For the simplest, unimportant reasons.
Our rivalry is a little, since it is between a brother and sister, but it still there, FOR SURE! I think it is just a constant test, no matter what you try, for parent AND child(s). But some days are definitely soooooo much harder than others! It feels good just to write about it and share our feelings even if it doesn't really change anything. Just knowing someone else feels and struggles in the same way! Thanks for sharing
Even though I haven't experienced this phenomena as a mom, I certainly have lived through it as a kid :) (Haven't we all?) I guess the only "healing" thoughts is that now...me and my siblings are all very close and for the most part- no more fighting :)
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