Today I decided to do a little flashback on my preemie story. I almost hesitate to share these pics. I think its because they hold so many emotions.
My firstborn, Jordyn (who is now 5 1/2) was born at 26 1/2 weeks. Which is over three months early. I was due July 8 and had her April 5. I was having a normal healthy and SICK pregnancy until that point. No issues or concerns at all.
Sometime in my 26th week I started feeling strange. Like extra crampy and tired and achy. After about 4 days of this, Tucker convinced me to call the dr since I was leaving soon on a business trip. They got me in at the end of the day and I could tell they chalked it up to "paranoid first time mother syndrome". They monitored my contractions, checked me and after about an hour said "you're fine, just go home and take it easy". I felt so uneasy about this diagnosis that I started to cry and said "are you sure?". (a lesson in trusting your instinct)
Then it happened. As I stood up to leave the hospital room, I felt a huge warm gush all down my legs. It felt like I was peeing and couldn't stop. I waddled over to the nurse call button and said "um, I think my water broke". They rushed in and said "are you sure?". As I was standing there in a river of amniotic fluid, with my pants and shoes soaked, I thought "it sure as heck better be, or I need to start wearing diapers!". From that moment on, it felt like I was in a movie.
Here I am 25 weeks along - about a week before I had her
Jordyn came out 2 lbs 8 oz and 13 inches long. She quickly dropped down to 1 lb 12 oz.
This was a rare sight, without all the tubes
No baby should be this tiny.
This is Jordyn's special bear my mom bought her. It stayed with her the whole time she was in the hospital. 
This is me (today) holding the bear to show how small it actually is. It looks so big in the pic above.
Jordyn stayed in the hospital 11 long weeks. The hardest part for me was the completely helpless feeling I had as a mother. I could not "make it better" which is what you're supposed to do for your kids. I couldn't hold her and snuggle her and cuddle her. She was prodded and poked and starved and ugh. It was horrible. But she is so healthy and happy now, that I've tucked those feelings away in a little box. What a miracle.
Hmmmm, maybe I should reflect on those tender feelings more often......like when I'm trying to get her ready for school and she is fighting me on every single option I give her for clothes, food and hair.....and all I want to do is scream!
8 comments:
Okay I'm totally chocked up...What a beautiful little miracle. I can't even imagine that feeling of helplessness and how tiny Jordyn was. Thanks for sharing this post.
Ok, I don't think I'm supposed to cry this much today. I remember when all that happened, I always wished I could have been there to support you. You are so amazingly strong, and made it through with all the love and support from those around you. She really is a miracle, to be so healthy, in EVERY way! Being a preemie didn't affect her personality or strength of character one bit! What an amazing girl, it's going to be fun to see what she does with her life. :) This is a sweet post Jay.
i love those pictures! it's so sweet to look back at those baby pictures! you're a cute prego!
btw, you've been awarded "The Best Kept Secret" award on my blog!
It is a real miracle the fight that these little preemies go though..
Jordyn def is one of those miracles..
Thanks for sharing this... I know how hard it is to bring up something that has affected you so deeply
Thank you Jamie for sharing this experience. I knew that Jordyn was a preemie (she was due about the same time as my nephew). But seeing the photos and hearing the story from you made it more real. Thanks for being so strong!
Wow, does this post ever bring back memories! I remember seeing tiny baby Jordan for the first time right after you had her. What a very stressful and difficult time for you and Tucker. Selfishly, I loved having your mom around. I haven't seen her for a good visit since then! It is so great to see how beautiful, healthy, smart, talented and vivacious that little red-head is today! Congratulations on doing a great job.
I remember this so vividly, Jamie. It is nothing short of completely miraculous how little Jordan fought for her little life and to see her now is just so amazing! The pictures tell such an incredible story!
I remember living so close to you and seeing Jordyn for the first time. I almost forgot about that, because she is so healthy and grown up now. What a miracle she was!
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