There are so many good things, I can't even count them all. But at the same time, I feel so much inner confusion about so many personal thoughts and feelings. I wish I could get them "out here" in blogland, but they are much more personal diary-type things. I sure wish I could get myself to keep a diary! This blog is about as good as I can get to right now! The problem is, when I feel like this, I want to shut down, completely and just veg. Eat and watch mindless TV. And, sure, I do that for a night, but much longer than that and I get behind on my life and it only makes the feeling worse.
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Okay, on to capturing some of my life's current blessings that won't always be this way: My girls. I love to look in on them while they're sleeping. They are so peaceful and cute. And I love to see the ways they sleep. Here's what I saw last night when I checked on them.
Peyton (21 months)
Lexi - 4 1/2 (Lexi and Peyton have shared a room since Pey was born and it works well, but I think when school starts I will combine the two older girls)
Jordyn - 6
And every night (for like 2 years now) Jordyn HAS to sleep with her closet light on, and her primary songs on her little pink CD player my mom gave her.
And every night (for like 2 years now) Jordyn HAS to sleep with her closet light on, and her primary songs on her little pink CD player my mom gave her.
7 comments:
Don't give up- you are not alone! Life is a constant learning, struggling, roller coaster. Full of blessings and hardships. Slow down if you need to- you have high expectations that are impossible sometimes (I do that too).
Your two older girls sleep the same way. I too love to peek in on my sleeping children.
I think that summer time just gets to everyone. There is no consistancy in schedule so you are constantly trying to find things for the kids to do. It is fun, but depressing at times to always have a child telling you they are bored. I, personally, can not wait for school to start. :)
I think you need a good chat with your dear old Tiff.
I'm with you, I do think there needs to be a way to vent it all, but when it's the personal 'diary-type', that's hard to share. No one can understand completely how hard something is for you, and those mixed feelings we get when we have a mountain to climb, but we are surrounded by SO many blessings, it's crazy! I understand that part of it well, we are going through our mountiain climbing at the moment, but at the same time, feel overwhelmed with blessings. I just know it all works out somehow, and along the way we learn what we need to let go of, to keep our sanity. ("letting go" is a hard part for me, I want to do everything, or feel like I have to do everything to near perfection and then I just get overwhelmed and want to shut down) Anyway, I'm rambling. I love you, and I agree with Katie, we all need to be reminded to slow down, and accept that not everything has to be done all the time. I have yet to master that way of living, but I still agree with it. :) I hope things are well with the family and your health, (and Tucker's too) Can't wait to see you!
I go under the motepad of my compuer sometimes and type as fast and as long as I can. I don't worry about errors or is making sense. At least it gives my thoughts and emotions somewhere to live so my brain doesn't ruminate on them. It helps me to sleep. Hmmm I think I need to do this myself. Ha.
How funny about the cd player. I have played music on ours EVERY night faithfully too. My love bug has listened to music every night since she was born. I can carry her in from the car absolutely out for the count and put her in bed. I think she is ok and I will hear " mom I need my music" =)
Love the girls. Pey Pey is so cute and impressed she warmed up to me so quickly.
o yes the new header is GREAT
I hear ya! QUinn has been soo busy these days and we have some others things stressing me out, so I understand your being frustrated. WE should just chat!
I love that time just b4 I head for bed myself, when I check on all the kids. It is such a peaceful time!
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