Flashback Friday

As I was browsing around for a photo for Flashback Friday, I actually laughed out loud when I saw this picture. This was almost 4 years ago, just before I had Lexi (quite obvious). We were at Pismo beach. Doesn't it make you uncomfortable just looking at me? And everyone else....it's just so strange the difference a few years can make!!

How do you KNOW

I mean, how do you REALLY know when something is the best decision for you? Some things are obvious....uh.....like broccoli is BETTER for you than chocolate (although we all know which TASTES better). Then there are bigger decisions.......like......should we buy a new car? (like one with dual air which I DON'T have). Then there are HUGE decisions that paralyze someone like me. Like......should we have more children?

I always hesitate to post my deep feelings. Probably because they are personal and don't need to be debated or critiqued by anyone in blogland.

But then sometimes feelings just need to come OUT so you can process them better, right? Okay, so like it or not, I'm making a list about WHY this latter mentioned HUGE decision plagues my heart and soul (*please remember that these are feelings of me, myself and I with absolutely NO judgement placed on anyone else who may feel different than me!!).

*I currently feel pushed to a do-able limit with three children
*I know that my 5, 3 and almost 1 year old will someday be teenagers, in college then getting married.....can I handle more than THREE of these things!!!????
*I feel like choosing to be pregnant again (albeit a huge blessing) is as scary as saying I will die for about 6 months and then be partially alive for another 3 months...........how the heck will my existing children be fed, clothed, and cared for during my "so-sick-I'm-basically-dead" time?
*So, then adoption comes to mind
*How do I know that is the right decision first of all? Second question....Russia, China, Domestic, ahhhhhh how to decide?
*Back to pregnancy....even if I do decide to "die" again (pardon my analogy, but that is honestly how it feels), there are no guarantees it will be a boy. Is that secretly what motivates Tucker or I to "go for it one more time?"
*Would we specifically adopt a boy? Is that selfish?
*Will the adopted child feel different than my bio children? Will I?
*We should start the adoption process now if I don't want a huge gap since it can take a while!
*Won't it be hard to do piano, dance, homework.....if I have four? I know other people do it....but can I?
*What if I'm a crazy lunatic mother-of-four? Instead of a semi-sane mother of three...
*I would love my children to have three siblings instead of two....is that reason enough?
*What am I saying, my eyeballs are falling out of my head NOW with three? Can I become a regular coffee drinker to keep up with it all if I have another child?
*This list is ridiculously long and random list, but it is literally 1/100th of what I think about.

I know there is no right answer to my ponderings. I also know I don't have to decide now. But I am a planner and like to know what I should be doing next. And I also know people to whom this is not such a dramatic decision. To me, it is. I have always been an extremely cautious person....I'm afraid of going down the wrong/hard path. I also know that I am not alone in this desicion because of course Tucker is in it with me! But he is 100% open to another child, so essentially it DOES lean more on me.

If you made it this far, thanks. I feel better. And, true to character, I will continue my obsessive answer-less thoughts while anxiously awaiting the arrival of a new pink bundle of joy to one of my best friends in the whole world. Can't wait for some news!!

Bunuelos

Yummmmy. When I was growing up, we loved when my mom would fry up some flour tortillas, then sprinkle (or dump) them with cinnamon and sugar. So imagine my excitement when I was in college working at a Mexican restaurant and they had this on their menu! They called them Bunuelos (there are various ways to make Bunuelos...typically with bread).

So now I make this yummy (but I didn't say healthy) treat for the kids and Tucker....they love it as much as I do! "I LOVE bunuelos mommy!".

Seriously...

Water Park Fun!

So Saturday was hotter than heck - seriously it was. We decided to go to a local waterpark for some fun in the boiling sun. Man, I honestly thought someone was blowing a heater on me, it didn't seem possible. The only reason we survived is the WATER!!! It was a fun day. Lindy even took baby Paxton and found a shady spot to hang out. The kids had a blast going down the kiddie waterslides. Tucker, Mike and Ryan got a real kick out of watching me and Lindy go down the Enema Slide (or at least that's what I call it).....the big water slide that drops you straight down and shoots water where it shouldn't and turns your swimsuit upside-down & backwards in 2 seconds flat! Fun stuff!

This kid could NOT get enough of the water. She would find a little spray fountain and actually position herself so it would spray in her face! Couldn't you just eat her right up? (you should enlarge this pic to see the full cuteness....and to see her strange teething patter. She's got the top two SIDE ones with no sign of the other middle one to come)

My three girls :-)

Not very often do I let the camera capture me in a swim suit...and then put it on a blog. What's wrong with me today?

Look at that BIG newborn baby! He is so cute.

"We don't care how hot it is, this is the BEST!"

ZIONS

Hello everyone in blogland! This is Tucker, I am here to tell you all about my trip to Zion National Park. I am the Venture Crew Leader in our ward, that is for the scouts 14 – 19 yrs old. This is absolutely the GREATIST calling in the church. Our bishop gave me the specific task of giving these boys “stories to brag about” to their classmates and once they become missionaries. We go on a weekend adventure once a month, then once a year we have our High Adventure. The boys raised their own money to pay for the trip, we left Monday and returned Saturday.
Here’s what we did;
Monday – Stop in Vegas to ignite the adrenaline by going on the “Big Shot” at the top of the Stratosphere

Tuesday – Warm up hike; 3 miles to the “Emerald Pools”

Wednesday – Our original plan was to hike the narrows, but since they are on fire, we chose “The Subway” (9.5 miles) hiking, repelling, and swimming. It was AWESOME!! We had to swim in narrow canyons with deep water, and do some fairly easy repelling. The worst part about it is the end – we had to hike straight up and out of the canyon, which I have named “Hell’s Canyon.” – this was the most technical hike I have done, I highly recommend this hike to everyone!!

*Actual Feelings captured @ the end of the hike

Thursday – St. George Temple, Blue Bunny Ice Cream Parlor & my beloved CAFÉ RIO!!

Friday – Lower Narrows (2 miles) & Angels’ Landing (5 miles)

*sponsored by In-N-Out

Saturday – Las Vegas Speedway – we went 100 miles on the NASCAR track & finally we arrived home! Jamie was home alone with the 3 rugrats, thanks hun for all your support!!!!!

Flashback Friday

I just love my little second born child - our "butterfly". Lexi is a ray of sunshine to me. She is a happy, cuddly, creative, independent and giggly girl.

This is Lexi when she was 7 months old, and then Lexi now 3 1/2.

Ferocious Beast

If you'll look closely, you'll notice a bloody bandaid on my thumb. You might wonder how....and why. Could it have been my needy dog in a fit of rage? Or my annoying cat as I threw him out yet one more time? Maybe it was the biting frogs out front?

No. None of the above. It was my beautiful, blue eyed 9 month old daughter. I was innocently fishing something out of her mouth (part of a raisin box, to be exact) and I emerged with a bloody war wound. It literally bled for two hours - no kidding. But, as mothers do, I love her as much as ever and hold no hard feelings. I mean, how could I with a face like that?

Dancin' & Crawlin'

I thought this dance pic of the girls turned out cute! We just got it in yesterday from the photo company. What little posers, huh?

And Peyton is officially crawling. For just about two weeks now, it's been a "real" crawl. She loves it and can more easily keep up with her big sisters (and eat their tiny toys).

Happy Birthday Mom!

For the past few years, it seems that my mom has been reflecting more and more on her mom. She admires how energetic my grandma was when she came to visit, or how helpful she was when my mom had her babies. She remarks at how Grandma remembered to send a card for every single birthday and holiday (with a $20 in it, that was the best). I think my mom is at an age where she is really identifying with her mom. And over the years as Grandma has become elderly and less healthy, my mom's role has evolved into a nurturer for her mother. My mom now frequently calls her and their conversations are about Grandma's cat, Becky, and how the lastest Wheel of Fortune was, when her next nail appointment is and if she's eating good......things in HER world, which is becoming smaller than it used to be. My mom loves when she calls and it's a "good day" for Grandma.

I always try to explain to my mom that the way she unconditionally loves, admires, is concerned for her mother is the SAME way that I (we) feel about HER. She is absolutely the biggest role model in my life. The person she is and the things she has taught me are completely weaved through me and are the foundation for the life I live. But I don't think its easy for her to "get it". That I love her like she loves her mom.....and I understand that it's a hard concept because it's hard for me to grasp that I am MOM to my kids the way MY mom is to me. It's an amazing thing and I am so thankful to be my mom's daughter.

Last night it was P-A-R-T-Y time to celebrate. Of course we had divine BBQ by "Master Mike" and I made a yummy chocolate cake (which is all my mom truly wants for dinner anyway). It was lots of fun (and we missed you Kristy, Carly and Alyson)! And tonight I think Lindy and I have convinced mom to go to the movies with us. We want to see Hairspray. I honestly don't know if I've been to a movie with my mom in the past 20 years ~ so this could be BIG!

Anyway, the point of all my ramblings is to say:

MoTHeR - HAPPY BIRTHDAY and I LOVE YOU!

A Lesson Re-Learned (and re-learned, and re-learned)

Whew, it's been a long week. Tucker's been gone all week with the scouts on a trip to Zion's. Which means it's been a-week-with-no-break for yours truly. This morning I drug myself and the three kids out in the 100 degree heat to swim at a friends house. And not with the best attitude, I might add. Sort of like "this is better than sitting at home" attitude.

Anyway, on to my lesson learned. So, Jordyn has been wanting to have her friend Tori over for a play date, and since Tori was swmming with us, I told her mom why don't I just take her home with us. She said "sure" but that she's been having a hard few weeks and would I mind if she came over for a while with all three of her kids. Admittedly, I was feeling 10000% drained and not completely social. But I sensed she needed it so I said "sure".

[I promise I'm getting to the point] So they all came over for a few hours, fed all our [6] kids, etc. Julie decided to leave around 3 o'clock, but asked if the two oldest (2 and 4) could stay to play. Tired, but realizing what the heck else am I going to do, I said yes. A couple hours later she called, and I assumed she was on her way to pick them up. But instead she said that she had been at the chiropractor with her husband, and that his back had taken a turn for the worse and they needed to go to the emergency room...and can she bring her youngest (18 months) over too? Wow.

So, I ordered pizza, we baked cookies, and now it's 10:00 o'clock pm and they will be here easily till midnight. All 6 children have been exceptionally good. But it's STILL 6 children, ages 5 and under! The good news is that my negative attitude has taken a turn for the better and my inward pity party has been stopped because [here's the lesson re-learned over and over] I SERVED someone in need. I am doing something to help a friend, and THAT is the number one thing that always helps me stop focusing on "poor me" or "tired me" or "whatever me".

The question is, why is it so easy to forget a lesson learned, and why are we stubborn enough to have to learn things over and over and over? To serve another is to be Christlike, and that is something that will bring true joy. So......I'm glad I was able to serve Julie today, I'm glad my attitude changed..........and I'm especially GLAD Tucker will be home tomorrow!

Road Trip!

I sort of went "back in time" the past couple of days. It reminded me of when I moved off to college 12 (gulp) years ago. My mom asked me to drive with Kristy to UT for the BIG move! She offered to watch the girls if I would do the dreaded drive (thanks a million to mom, lindy and beth for making it happen). I said "sure"!

It was a fun (and short) little road trip! Kristy is staying with Katie for a month until her apartment opens up. We were able to tour her apartment complex and her beauty school and they were both AWESOME! I had a few hours to spare to get Kristy situated, then flew back home to my kiddos!

I will miss having Kristy near by - A TON - we all will. But I know that she is going to have a blast and have the most wonderful experiences. Better keep blogging Kristy, we'll want to hear about it all! Love ya!

I didn't think it would be as exciting

I really didn't. I thought by the third time around, it would be sort of old news when the baby says first words, or crawls or eats. I thought it may be a little more like "whew, finally. Now you can keep up with your sisters" or something like that. But I couldn't have been more wrong. It's amazingly satisfying and exciting - every single new thing that Peyton does just melts my heart. Being a parent is a funny thing because you think there is NO way another child has ever done something as SMART, as CUTE or as AMAZING as what your child just did. There is just no way! But, alas, each parent feels this way...and so they should!

Peyton finally points to her nose!! Now, this may sound simple to you, but to me it felt earth shattering!! Andyou have to realize we've been working on this every single day for MONTHS and she DID IT! I was so happy I could have probably floated on air! It is the cutest thing - I actually got it on camera.

I also have to re-iterate that Signing Time works! Peyton did her first sign the other day (almost 9 months). She did "more". It's her own little interpretation of the word, but that is definitely what she is doing. I love it!

Water Snobs

Tucker and I are what you could call "water snobs". We drink bottled water. We have for years. On occasion, I'll try to drink tap water, and I just can't make myself drink 1/2 as much. Sometimes I feel silly paying money for water, but it just tastes SO much better. We have the 5 gallon water dispenser/cooler in our kitchen.

I just watched a tiny clip from The Today Show. They had some professional wine tasters do a taste test on lots of different waters. Do you know which one they rated the best tasting? Salt Lake City tap water! No wonder I don't mind the tap water in UT. It's always ice cold and crisp out of the faucet.

And do you like the new look of the blog? Thanks a million to Tiff's mom, Gail, for doing a photo session with us (the pics up top are just a few). She got some GREAT pics that I will be framing on my wall ASAP.

Toes in the Ocean

Last weekend we took a day-trip to the coast. It's a little over two hours to get there - we played at Avila beach all day, then (of course!) ate at Splash in Pismo. Yum. We had lots of fun with our family-friends Beth, Dane & kids, and Kandelyn, Rich & kids.

This was Peyton's 2nd trip to the beach, but her first time putting her cute little toes in the ocean! Not a single bit of her cared that the water was freezing - she is totally obsessed with water of any kind.

The Thoughts I Think

Today I was at Costco (not an uncommon thing).


I was standing in front of the peanut butter. [First, you must know that I tend to turn small decisions into big, time consuming decisions]. Organic or Regular? Regular or Organic?

Such a HUGE decision, as you are aware. Now, I wouldn't consider myself a health FREAK, but I do err on the side of healthy when possible. The main difference in Organic vs. Regular peanut butter is Palm Oil vs. Partially Hydrogenated Vegetable Oil.


The other difference is that my kids don't like the Organic. And I figure, would I rather their sandwich be healthy but not in their tummies? Or not-as-healthy but IN their tummies? Hmmmm.
Today I bought the Regular peanut butter. I figure the ounce of peanut butter they have 1-2 times per week won't shed years off their life. But who knows? Next time I need peanut butter, and I'm making that critical decision....I may choose Organic? Depends on my mood.


And those are the (important) thoughts I think.

Raw is N-A-S-T-Y!

The other day, I drove through Sonic. I don't love Sonic, but between 2-5 pm their drinks are 1/2 off, so I grabbed myself a big ol' diet cherry vanilla coke, and the kids got a slush. I also got a chicken strip wrap.


I got home, unloaded the kids, got them situated and proceeded to take a big bite of my wrap. I immediately noticed that something was NOT right. It had a strange texture. I pulled the wrap away from my mouth and, to my horror, this is what i saw:





Isn't that so sick? Completely RAW chicken strip. The outside was cooked, but the inside was totally raw. Ugh. I was SO grossed out.


But I will say, in this case, it helps that we are in the food service business, because Tucker is consantly talking about what type of chicken strips, chicken breast, fried chicken, etc. that our company is using. He's talked quite a bit about the pros and cons of using pre-cooked breaded chicken vs. raw breaded chicken.....otherwise I wouldn't have even THOUGHT that there was such a thing as raw breaded chicken!


The story ended on a positive note. I called the manager - mostly to warn him - and he was VERY apologetic, he got my address and sent me out a coupon for a free meal. So, the moral to my story? Always check your chicken. It's one thing to like raw beef (Tucker likes his steaks moo-ing) but raw chicken is just N-A-S-T-Y.

Friends, Faces and Fun

FRIENDS

Peyton and Paxton are not only going to be cousins, but good friends. I just have a feeling...and I also can't explain HOW excited Peyton gets when she sees him. It's like "FINALLY you're here to play!". So cute.

FACES

We have been getting such a laugh from the pucker faces Peyton makes when she eats fruit. I've been peeling peaches and giving them to her (which she LOVES) and every single bite results in a funny face. Speaking of faces....you may notice she's quite red from her nose to her forehead. We went to the beach on Saturday (I will post when I get the pics from Beth) and I put sunscreen everywhere but where her hat was....and then I forgot when the hat came off to re-apply. How guilty I feel as a Mom! In my behalf, we did stay under the umbrella almost the whole time. Her glowing white skin just couldn't take it, I guess.

FUN

The other day, the girls were really quiet (aka: not fighting) for a while. When I found them, this is what I saw. I love when they get into great imaginary play.

Flashback Friday

I thought was only appropriate do to this photo for flashback friday today, given the funeral Tucker attended last weekend. This is Grandma Shirl and Tucker, maybe in 1974 or so.


The funeral was for Tucker's Uncle Dev, who died at the young age of 51. He had a long battle with cancer in which he fought quite hard. Dev is Tucker Mom Judy's younger brother. Judy also passed away when Tucker was 13, so over 20 years ago. So Grandma Shirl has seen the passing of two children - which, to my mortal mind, always feels not quite how it should be.

Tucker, Neal (great wind blown hair-do), Maren and Grandma Shirl in front of "our cabin"
Tucker was so glad he could attend the funeral and spend time with his family. They were able to spend time in Bear Lake, which is an extra special place for the family. They practically grew up in Bear Lake and Grandma Shirl & Grandpa Milt still spend every summer in their cabin there.

Tucker with his cousin Monette (on HIS right) and her husband (our buff friend, cousin-in-law and former boss!) Don with their cute girls Brandy and Danielle, and Neal. Beautiful Bear Lake is in the background....it usually is SOOOO blue, but this was an overcast day.