So, tomorrow will complete my EIGHTH week of student teaching. Can you believe that? This week, I taught Wednesday, Thurs and part of Friday. On my days, I do the entire day. It can be quite exhausting.
Its just so draining to constantly be watched, observed and evaluated. I was trying to explain it to Tucker today what it's like, and I told him to imagine someone saying "Okay, I'm going to come into your house for the next four/five months and evaluate your parenting all day". Even if you didn't do a single thing differently, it would be emotionally taxing to know someone was critiquing you!
Yesterday my National University Supervisor observed me, then today my Principal observed me. There are so many forms to fill out, papers to write, observations (for me to do as well), lessons to plan and night classes to attend! I honestly do not know how I'm "fitting this in" to my life. It is nothing short of a miracle. Because....on top of this, I really consider my most important job to be a mother! Ahhhh, where's the time?
The part that nearly brought me to tears occured after school. My principal wanted to meet with me and Mrs. Garza to review the lesson he observed me teach today. He gave me lots of feedback...and so did she. Basically, they both brought up my classroom management skills and that the kids seem to be finding ways to "get away" with things and that I need to work on that. Now, of COURSE I want constructive criticism. That is what I need and expect during student teaching. But hearing that today just deflated me because that IS my biggest struggle and I already feel so drained by it and I try as hard as I know how EVERY single day to strengthen my classroom management skills. So I guess to hear it just made me want to cry and quit. Like I'll NEVER get it. (Logically I know that isn't true, but it feels like it mentally!)
I do have to say.....I am amazed I didn't hit this point prior to this 8-week mark though.
I just try so hard all 6 hours of the day to keep the attention of 21 kids. And no matter what, there are about 1/3 of them who feel nearly impossible to keep their attention for longer than 1 second (literally). Some not even that long. I'm praying this will come with time. And I'm also praying that some portion of the challenge comes from taking over someone else's class mid-year and expect them to respect me like they do her after only a few weeks.
You'd think I'd come home and feel like keeping the attention of my THREE kids would be a piece of cake compared to 21 of them. But nope. Raising and/or teaching kids properly requires super-human powers. Seriously. I need to find mine.
Speaking of my kids.....one of my favorite surprises is when I am walking my class to the busses, and I see Tucker standing there (after he picks up Jordyn up at my school) with all three of my girls. They get SOOO excited to see me and RUN up to me hugging me and then walk with us to the busses. My class thinks its so fun to see them and are amazed to realize that I am a human with kids, and not a teacher that sleeps and lives in the classroom. Cute memories!
6 comments:
I can't imagine how hard that must be, trying to keep the attention of all those kids ALL day long. I think you are right about it due partially to the whole student teacher thing. I would imagine when you are learning the ropes, while being critiqued on every thing, you are not completely yourself anyway, and maybe that extra edge of authority is not quite defined yet. I bet once you have your own class, and can start out the way you want, it will be different. Then you will feel completely in charge as you run your class, and the kids will feel that confidence, the consistant authority, and respond better than they have so far. You are a fabulous mother with sweet and very independant-thinking girls. I bet you will figure out a method for governing your class, and it will be easier once you are more on your own. It really sounds hard to have someone looking over your shoulder all the time. Good luck Jay!
Jamie,
You are experiencing what every student teacher does with classroom management. It is definately the hardest part. Even the best student teachers I have had over the years struggle with it. Trust me, it will be soooo much easier when you have your own class and can set up your rules from the get go. There are lots of really good management techniques I can share with you if you want. I have done this for 21 years so I have tried them all. Right now, my class is doing great with table points. Whoever gets the most at the end of the week gets to visit the treasure chest. They are so motivated. Hang in there. I am sure you are doing a great job. Remember that cooperating teachers and principals have to find something to have you work on. I am sure you feel it is much worse that it truly is. Good luck. Email me anytime for help! Kris in Maryland
Kalinock6@msn.com
You are a good girl. Really how can anyone manage that many first graders? Have a good cry...I know I did today and somehow it did help a little. Love you!
I think you DO have super-human powers. I know I couldn't do everything that you do and do it all so well. I'm sure you'll figure it all out too. Keep up the good work, SuperJamie!
I feel like I am reliving a lot of my past through your current experience. But really, it is soo different when it isn't YOUR class and you didn't start the year with your style and in your way. So keep THAT in mind :)
And it is just as hard to be observed and TRY to be your normal teacher self. I am sure you are way to hard on yourself and that you are doing a much better job than you realize (I just know you too well to think otherwise).
I remember how fun it was when my family occassional came to visit me at school to, and your students get to see you as a NORMAL everyday person :)
Hang in there. I think 3rd graders SHOULD be easier to manage. Good luck this coming week!!!!!!
I remember this issue from my sub-teaching days. As you probably are aware, with your own class and no observers, you will find the best ways to keep the class in check. I remember my classes as a child giving our student-teachers a hard time too.
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