D-Day

This was me today. Thoughtful. Sad. Frozen.


You would think, after about 7 months of preparing for THIS day, I would have been totally ready for it.


Nope.


Backing up a bit.....when I was little, we moved several times. This first time I can recall was when I was 5. From the time I was 8 months old until right after my 5th birthday, we lived in Stockton, CA. During those 4+ years, we lived around the corner from my (now) oldest and dearest friend Tara and her family. My mom and her mom (Taco) instantly became close friends. Tara's family became my family, and vice versa.


So, I remember being sad when we moved from there. My mom says it was very sad for everyone and that she and Taco cried all the way to the airport, and that we all cried saying goodbye. Now, 26 years later, I've basically re-created this same thing with Beth.


As a child, my parents had many opportunities to teach me about making new friends while still embracing the old. They would sing the song "Make new friends, and keep the old....one is silver and the other gold". As a young child, I remember times when I felt like I was betraying one friend if I also became close with another. I naively thought you could only have ONE best friend, and that everyone else was "below" them.

So not true.

I've learned over and over in my life the extreme importance of all types of friends. Each one has something unique and different to offer. I feel equally close to so many of my friends, but in very different and special ways. The memories are different, the commonalities are different and the bond is different. True friendship has no jealousy involved. I'm so thankful that my mom taught me this and stressed the importance of keeping a variety of friends.


So, I was surprised that [at the age of 26] I would meet a friend that would change my life, and become so instantly bonded to. But I did, and I am eternally grateful. I don't think it's something you can really explain or make sense of...I really think there are so many things that exist on deeper spiritual level than our mortal minds can understand. But, as spiritual beings, I believe our spirits feed off other people's spirits - and I think sometimes the energy just works in a (good) way you can't completely understand. That's how it has been with Beth and I from day one. I love her kids like my own. I won't know what to do without my surrogate son, Jacob, around all the time! Beth and Dane have been the perfect companions for our crazy adventures!


It's not that I think friendships have to end - I've got many people I love from along my path of life to prove that - it's just that taking someone out of your daily existence is a death of sorts, and requires a mourning. It's really like my heart is actually physically hurting from the change. My emotions are very much at the surface, and my eyes are puffy to prove it.


I'll save my books and books of sappy feelings (yes there are a lot more) about everyone moving, all these changes and how I continue to feel about it all. But I will post some pictures of the past couple days.

WE LOVE YOU GUYS AND MISS YOU TONS ALREADY!!