6th Grade

So for the rest of the school year, I'll be in a 6th grade classroom! Today was my first official day. Talk about a different world than 1st grade! I feel so strange that the kids just run out to recess....or come back from recess.....alone. And they walk to the cafeteria alone. I was so used to walking the little kids everywhere (in a straight line)! And it's also strange to see the teacher give them a set of Math problems...and then they just work on them independently for a while. And during that time, we can even have a small conversation! If I had tried to have a conversation with Mrs. Garza in 1st grade, the kids would have been wild & crazy in about one minute.

I'm also in a totally different school district - Clay Elementary. Clay is run almost exactly like a private school, but it is a public charter school. There is only one class per grade level, and so the kids stay with the same group (for the most part) from Kindergarten through 8th grade. They also have a lot of other extras (that most districts have cut) like a music teacher and aides in the classroom. It's very small and intimate, like a family. I'm excited to experience another district and to widen my perspective.

I have to admit that I feel a little tired of being "on the spot". I'm not naturally a competitive, showy person....or someone who craves the limelight. But student teaching really is like a 18 week job interview! People are watching and noticing every thing you do! I can't wait until I'm acclimated to the classroom, know the kids names and get a feel for a group of 6th graders! Whether they realize it or not, even though I look like a confident adult, I probably feel just as shy and intimidated as they do at the age of 12!

The content of 6th grade is much more intense than 1st grade! You really have to know what you're talking about! My master teacher is a couple years younger than me, no kids and she's been teaching for maybe 6 years. Our personalities seem to mesh well, and I'm so thankful for that! Once I find my groove, I think I'll enjoy this experience. At least I hope!

Slug Bug!

Tucker has played "slug bug" with the girls for the past year. Of course, he's omitted the hitting part that is traditionally part of the game! They are obsessed with finding slug bugs everywhere! It is the cause of many arguments too, if one of the girls finds more than the other.

Anyway, for a while Tucker has been wanting to take them to a Volkswagen dealership to test drive one so they could see it up close & personal. Finally, today they did it! It was really fun and was a great little daddy/daughter outing.

So Dissapointing!

My mother-in-law Jeannine makes the most amazing bread!!! She gave me the recipe years ago, but I have been to scared to try until recently. I have made it a few times, but with half wheat flour and it's turned out yummy.

But today I decided to try to make it exactly like she does (or at least try). I took so much time and care, and Tucker even helped me braid it (or, again, try) because, to him, that is a critical characteristic of "Mom's bread".

The house started smelling just like Jeannine's and I was so anxious to see how it turned out!

When it was finally done, I waited about two whole minutes and cut into it. Hooray, the texture was very close to hers! I almost felt proud....until I took a bite. S-A-L-T!!! Yuck!

What the heck? I distinctly recalled putting two tablespoons of salt, exactly how her recipe called for.

And then I remembered.

I bought "self rising flour". Which means it contains salt AND baking soda.

What a sad, sad, sad thing. I tried to eat is several different ways...but there was no way around it being gross. Pretty, but gross.

I learned a good lesson!! And I'll try again soon.

Party Preview

Next Saturday, Jordyn is having her 7th birthday party. The theme will be centered around, noneother than, High School Musical.

A few days ago, I let myself get carried away for four house with one of the party favors....red & white bows for the girls (the colors of East High in HSM). For a total of $3, all the girls will be able to pick out and take home a bow!

It's our very first time branching out to school friends. In the past, we've always had close family and family-like friends, or even neighbor friends, for parties. But never kids from school whose parents I don't know at all. So I'm anxious to see how it turns out!

Yummmm

I have an intense love for chocolate covered strawberries. Only, I don't like them waxy and fake. I've always seen this stuff at the store and thought it looked waxy.

Boy was I WRONG! Yummmmmm! So easy, so good and so delicious. I ate about 10 today.

Ms. Attitude

Jordyn has been "sassy" since before she was 5 years old....and she's turning 7 next week...so for over two years. I mean, really really sassy. She's got a lot of attitude and it often wears me down.

So tonight she was on a sassy roll. I was trying to stay calm because if I've learned anything, it's that by staying calm I don't make it better, but, more importantly, I also don't make it worse. Sort of like "not adding fuel to the fire".

But staying calm is WAAAAYYYY easier said than done. With her eye rolling, and back talk and disrespectful comments....ugh. Anyway, I usually make her "do it again". Hoping she'll eventually learn to self-correct. And often she'll need to go to her room to remove herself from....well, mostly ME!. Or I'll make her write sentences. Or get a priviledge taken away. I've tried it all....card pulling, reward system, stickers, quarter jars...you name it.

Anyway, the one thing I've never done is soap in the mouth. But tonight, that changed.

I was SOOOO mad after a few hours that all I wanted to resort to was slap her mouth in frustration. But I knew that would be selfishly relieving my anger. So I took a deep breath and gave her the option: Mommy can either pop your mouth or wash it out with soap.

She looked at me really shocked. And then she surprised me. She chose the soap.

That made me nervous because I'd never done it. But now I had to. So we marched in the bathroom and I rubbed a bit of liquid soap on her tongue. Not a lot, but enough to get my point across. I explained to her that this was to wash the sassy and rude comments down the drain. It was actually a pretty calm experience.

And I have to say, the rest of the night was smoother. She really can be a great daughter, sister and helper when she wants to be. It was like it shocked her out of the mode she was in (which I'm learning, can be caused by about a gazillion things....). I don't plan to make it a habit. But you have to have a few secret "weapons" to pull out as a mom!

Lexi did NOT like that I did this. Later, she pulled me aside and said "Mom, if you ever give me the choice....I'd pick a pop on the mouth". I chuckled a little, because she'd really been contemplating this. I explained to her that as long as she doesn't talk mean or sassy, she won't ever have her mouth washed out with soap. And she probably won't because, for whatever reason, she doesn't (yet) have a single issue in that area. Thank heavens.

I Want You to Know

As a mother, I too often let my mind wander to the possibility of dying and leaving my children prematurely mother-less. The thought of me leaving them....being too young to really know how I feel about them....and about life....can quickly fill me with a deep despair.

Chances are, that won't ever happen. But I tend to dwell on the worse-case-scenarios in life. Coupled with the fact that it happened to my husband as a young boy. His mother died too young and left five children, age 13 and under. I can only hope and pray that if this was my fate, that someone as incredible as my mother-in-law would be led to my children so they could feel my love vicariously.

I so desperately want my girls to know that they are more precious to me than any material possession I could ever own. Their spirits are beautiful and strong. They are examples to me of happiness, curiosity and wonder. And that, even when I'm a grumpy and impatient person, I feel blessed to even know them and I am a better person for it.

I want them to be proud of themselves. I want them to never think that anyone else is better than they are because each of them have a unique and special set of talents - a combination that no one else has! I want them to think of themselves as Princesses. Literally. Because they are. I want them to set the bar really high for themselves. To never settle for anything but the best, because that is what they deserve. I pray that they cling to a deep internally driven set of morals and values - that aren't based solely on religious beliefs, but are strengthened by it.

I want them to have goals. Lots and lots of goals. Because when there is something you are reaching for, it keeps you busy, occupied, happy and fulfilled.

I want them to live by the Golden Rule. It is the most basic of all moral concepts. Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.

I want them to love others, be interested in others, serve others, and respect others. This is the key to true happiness.

I want them to take pictures and document their lives! I've tried so hard to do this for them. I want them to be proud of their journey, learn from their journey and preserve their journey.

I need them to know that there is no path they can take that will prevent the pain of life from wounding them. There are certainly paths that will eliminate self-induced pain. But as the nature of our mortal existence, they most definitely will experience lots and lots of pain over the course of their life. I want them to know that these are opportunities to stretch and grow and become who you are meant to be - even though the pain can often feel unbearable. Remember...diamonds are only made after enduring thousands of degrees and thousands of pounds of pressure over a long period of time. But isn't it worth it?

I love you girls. What a lucky mommy I am to have a Jordyn, a Lexi and a Peyton.

xoxoxoxo

Slip-n-Slide in March

One of the perks of living in California is a long and beautiful Spring. I'll be singing a different tune from June through October, but for now I will love every minute of this weather.

We've actually had some too-hot-for-spring days lately and did some slip-n-slide with our neighbor friends, Emma and Ava (and cousins Lyric and Paxton!).

Change of Plans

So, on Friday I got a last minute message that "We're so sorry, but we have no third grade openings for a student teacher".

Okaaaaay. So, now what?

I'm still waiting to hear where I'm going next. All I care about is that it's a good fit with my Master Teacher.

My supervisor is working on where to place me now. In 4th-8th grade. So I have a "free day" today (i.e. laundry, housework, homework). And that's nice. But if I don't start this week, then there is no way I can fit in all 45 school days I'm still required to do before the end of the school year.

Wish me luck.

This Life is Kicking My Butt

Life's not always fair. Sometimes you can get a splinter
even sliding down a rainbow. ~Cherralea Morgen

I read this quote today. I liked it. I related to it.

If this analogy was reality, then the past year would have given me so many splinters, I could now be considered a mighty Oak Tree trunk. Literally.

While student teaching is hard, I can only wish it was my biggest struggle. But one can dream.

I sure hope you're not feeling completely full of splinters like me!

Last Day!

So I made it through today! I said goodbye to all the kids and didn't even let them see the tears. I know that probably isn'thealthy, but I felt like I wouldn't be able to control them (from sadness....but also a stress release type cry) if I let them out and I didn't want to actually scare the poor things.

Mrs. Garza had the kids each write me a letter and draw a picture, and then bound it into a book for me. How nice!!! The notes were so cute and my favorite part is that almost all the kids drew me with blonde, brown and orange hair all together. Very accurate!

She gave me the whole afternoon to do what I wanted (about 1 1/2 hours). So I read the letters out loud, gave them a little thing I made with a picture of them with me in it, and then we went outside to play buddy-tag (I think we used to call it Fag Tag, but I didn't teach them that!). They loved it. Although, keeping 21 6 year olds in line isn't any easier outside than in the classroom! We played Mother May I and then I taught them "Rigabamboo". Then I gave them popsicles and it was time for hugs! That's when I almost lost it because some of them would NOT let go! Luckily they are in Jordyn's grade, so I'll see them frequently I'm sure.

Some of them even adorned me with presents: a teddy bear from Evelie's bed, a bracelet from Ravinder, a note from Gabriela, a cell phone rhinestone case from Jennifer (all used, by the way). But that meant even more to me that they would give me their things.

Very sweet! Loved my experience!!! I'm anxious to find out what the next 9 weeks will be like!

And I am crossing every finger and toe that Jordyn keeps it together with me leaving her school. She's really been doing well emotionally since I've been there, and I saw that look in her eye today afterschool like "I'm falling apart". Poor girl.

St. Patrick's Day

Before I had kids in school....and before I was in school myself.....I found it hard to fully do justice to the small holidays. But now that I've spent time in an elementary classroom, I'm reminded that they pay plenty of attention ALL month long to all the small holidays (like St. Patrick's Day), so I no longer feel guilty.

Last night, on the way to piano, Lexi was talking all about how the Leprechauns visited their classroom and tipped over all their chairs and left them a pot of gold. It was magical as she re-told what happened. I saw Jordyn's face drop a little when she realized all she did was color 4-leaf clovers all month, but no magical story like that (totally up to the teacher's own creativity! No pressure...).

So I figured I needed to do something magical for them. Tucker met me at piano and I went home a bit early to get dinner started. So when they walked in the door, I told them that Leprechauns must have visited us while we were gone because everything I cooked kept turning green!!! They were SOOOOO excited!!!!




Hope we don't all get sick from the green food coloring!



(I hope my posts even make sense these days. I just sort of type without much re-reading or editing........or thought, for that matter!)

Thisnthat

First off, Happy Birthday Mike (28 on the 14th) and Lindy (26 on the 23rd)! We had Lindy and Mike over for a combined birthday dinner (since I thought Lindy would be out of town on hers, but now she might not be so a good reason to celebrate again!!). Steaks and yummy chocolate cake! I have zero creativity left, so I broke my own tradition and did not do a personalized cake. Just a basic chocolate one. Sorry guys! :-)


Cute family!


Peyton and Paxton are 8 months apart and absolutely LOVE eachother! They follow each other everywhere!



A couple weeks ago, I tripped in my house on a phone cord (who the heck has phone cords anymore, you ask? Well, it's attached to our Dish and has to go across the hall way). I usually have a rug covering the cord, but it was being washed. So I ATE IT HARD one morning at like 5:30 am and was cussing on the floor in the hallway. It hurt SOOOOO bad. Anyway, I jammed my big toe and could hardly walk on it for a few days! Wish it was a more exciting story than being injured in my own hallway :-)

I Did It

I finally made kids pull cards. Not because it's my style.....but for two reasons:

1) It's Mrs. Garza's classroom and I needed to respect HER rules while there (and uphold them).

2) It was either that, or start screaming like a maniac "STOP IT!!! I've asked you a thousand times to STOP playing with your shoelaces and humming and talking to your neighbor, and spacing off and making farting noises with your hands...."

Actually, I've made some progress in the classroom management area. Maybe before I was at a 2% success rate, and now I'm at a 10% (in the big picture), but my teacher even said I've improved. Hooray!

There is always a flip side though. And one little girl, Miranda, came up to me and said "Mrs. Maxfield, can I read you my journal entry?". I'm always happy to hear their creativity, so she proceeds with......"I had to pull a card today and I felt really sad. I have never pulled a card before, so it made me sad to pull a card. I felt sad, but now I feel happy. I don't ever want to pull a card again". Talk about breaking my heart! I hope I didn't scar her!

Two more days, and then I'm on to 3rd grade for the rest of the semester!

A Letter of Thanks

Dear Clorox Bleach Tablets,

I could never say a big enough thank you to express my deep gratitude for your existance. With five humans living in our home, we use our commodes very frequently. And because of you, (I hate to admit this publicly) I hardly ever have to scrub the inside of my toilets. Hardly EVER! You keep them sparkling clean and white flush after flush after flush with no effort on my part. I can tell when you are dissolved because there is a distinct difference in the hue of the bowl.

You are a bit pricey, but worth every penny. In fact, I stock up on you at Costco because I fear running out of you!

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart!

Jamie

My Flower Project

I wanted to do something memorable with the kids in 1st grade before my time with them is up....so we planted flowers around a tree outside their door. They absolutely LOVED it! And I painted this little wooden sign for Mrs. Garza. It was the most beautiful day, and hopefully it will stay that way so our little flowers will live!

Peyton and Grandma

(Isn't this the cutest picture ever?)

I've been meaning to document Peyton's weekly day with my Mom. Every Wednesday, my mom picks Pey up from her pre-school and spends nearly 5 hours with her. Pey gets very special treatment during this time since she gets Grandma all to herself.

Starting the night before, Peyton starts to talk about Grandma picking her up from school. She squeals with delight when my mom walks in the preschool door to get her, and falls happily into her special time. Bernice (my mom's dog) is also waiting in the car for her. I think Pey considers Bernice one of her cousins, so she loves this.

Then they get home, and my mom makes "Pey's Buffet Tray" of food. She gives her as many options as she can think of.




She then gets to play with the dollhouse (which was Kristy's from 18 years ago), and will only play with ONE of the little babies for some strange reason. Grandma gets down on the floor with her and they play with toy after toy after toy.



Pey rocks on this caterpillar until she falls backwards on purpose! Wild kid.


Then it's "tubby time". Pey gets to soak in Grandma's bathtub and play with toys and bubbles.


Finally, she gets to lotion and powder all she wants. I'm not sure if this is a daily occurance, but on the day I took the pics it was part of the "fun".

Finally, she goes down for a nice long nap in the portable crib! After that special treatment, who WOULDN'T want some beauty rest!

It is so special to me that Pey gets to have this one-on-one time with Grandma. It's a rare thing when you're the third child. And it's so comforting to me that, even though I'm gone a lot right now, she gets some special treatment from other family members. (I'll have to do a post about her day at Lindy's. Lindy....be ready for me to photograph throughout your house! Ha ha)

Thanks Mom/Grandma for setting aside such special time for Peyton!!!

Therapy Baking

I've always loved to eat home-baked things, but haven't always loved to actually do the baking. Until the past few years. My love for baking has continued to grow and become a hobby for me.

Home made bread has always seemed so tedious to make, so I always stuck to quick baking like cakes, cookies and other quick-breads (banana). But I've slowly come to really enjoy the process and patience of home made yeast bread. I may only do it once every month or two, but if I could I would eat it all day every day.

For me, it's not difficult to squeeze in the time to do it....it's more therapeutic for me. In the midst of stress, it can bring me a strange sort of peace and anticipation to have something yummy baking. And then to pig out on it the rest of the day. I also love to share it with my family. So Lindy and my parents usually get a portion of what I've made.

(No wonder I can't lose this extra weight!)

(I obviously need a bigger bowl....and this one is pretty big!)

Today I Finally Felt Like Crying

So, tomorrow will complete my EIGHTH week of student teaching. Can you believe that? This week, I taught Wednesday, Thurs and part of Friday. On my days, I do the entire day. It can be quite exhausting.

Its just so draining to constantly be watched, observed and evaluated. I was trying to explain it to Tucker today what it's like, and I told him to imagine someone saying "Okay, I'm going to come into your house for the next four/five months and evaluate your parenting all day". Even if you didn't do a single thing differently, it would be emotionally taxing to know someone was critiquing you!

Yesterday my National University Supervisor observed me, then today my Principal observed me. There are so many forms to fill out, papers to write, observations (for me to do as well), lessons to plan and night classes to attend! I honestly do not know how I'm "fitting this in" to my life. It is nothing short of a miracle. Because....on top of this, I really consider my most important job to be a mother! Ahhhh, where's the time?

The part that nearly brought me to tears occured after school. My principal wanted to meet with me and Mrs. Garza to review the lesson he observed me teach today. He gave me lots of feedback...and so did she. Basically, they both brought up my classroom management skills and that the kids seem to be finding ways to "get away" with things and that I need to work on that. Now, of COURSE I want constructive criticism. That is what I need and expect during student teaching. But hearing that today just deflated me because that IS my biggest struggle and I already feel so drained by it and I try as hard as I know how EVERY single day to strengthen my classroom management skills. So I guess to hear it just made me want to cry and quit. Like I'll NEVER get it. (Logically I know that isn't true, but it feels like it mentally!)

I do have to say.....I am amazed I didn't hit this point prior to this 8-week mark though.

I just try so hard all 6 hours of the day to keep the attention of 21 kids. And no matter what, there are about 1/3 of them who feel nearly impossible to keep their attention for longer than 1 second (literally). Some not even that long. I'm praying this will come with time. And I'm also praying that some portion of the challenge comes from taking over someone else's class mid-year and expect them to respect me like they do her after only a few weeks.

You'd think I'd come home and feel like keeping the attention of my THREE kids would be a piece of cake compared to 21 of them. But nope. Raising and/or teaching kids properly requires super-human powers. Seriously. I need to find mine.

Speaking of my kids.....one of my favorite surprises is when I am walking my class to the busses, and I see Tucker standing there (after he picks up Jordyn up at my school) with all three of my girls. They get SOOO excited to see me and RUN up to me hugging me and then walk with us to the busses. My class thinks its so fun to see them and are amazed to realize that I am a human with kids, and not a teacher that sleeps and lives in the classroom. Cute memories!

Strike a Pose

Lately, Jordyn and Lexi have been REALLY into being "older'. For example, Jordyn wears my dressy shoes around the house so she can hear them "click" on the tile, like a grown-up. Or they pretend to talk like grown-ups (mimicking teachers, or me). They also are very intrigued by the romance in High School Musical and like to try to act like Gabriella. They constantly ask me detailed questions wondering "why does Troy like Gabriella" like he does.

Another issue that I'm officially letting go of (let it be heard as an official declaration) is the clothing issue. I am so sick and tired of fighting about clothing. Even after I *thought* I let go of most of it, we still argue about it constantly. It ranges from Lexi only wanting to wear "blue" pants (aka jeans) to Jordyn hating how every single item feels on her body. It's either too long, too loose, too itchy.....I'd have to dress her in a cloud for her to not complain. But MOST of all, they both want to wear short sleeves and skirts/shorts ONLY. Lexi does a pretty good job coordinating outfits, but Jordyn goes for comfort over fasion and often puts together.....ummmm....interesting outfits.

I am really trying (really) to get over not caring how they look. Or if they are "wasting" perfectly good clothing that I think is cute by not wearing them before they grow out of them. We've tried setting clothes out the night before. This does one of two things (occasionally it works)....either 1) the fight still happens, just at night rather than in the morning or 2) they SAY they'll wear the outfit set out, but in the morning there are tears about it and lots of refusal. We're even tried days, like "mommy gets MWF and Jordyn gets Tues/TH".

I'm really only skimming the surface of this issue. I think I have lost years off my life with the battles. Tucker agrees....it is completely draining.

So here are my two main rules. I will really really really try to let go of the rest (it's so hard).
1) You can't wear the same piece of clothing twice in one week
2) You can't dig something out of the dirty clothes

And that is IT. I don't care if they freeze in their tank tops on a 50 degree day (cold for us), or if their clothing goes to "waste" (how I feel), or even if they look ridiculous.

I'm also trying to phrase my feelings more accurately. For example, sometimes I get frustrated and end up saying something like "Fine. Wear whatever you want. I really don't care" (insert frustrated tone). A few Sundays ago, I said that to Lexi. She looked at me sort of confused, adn then went and put on whatever she wanted (knowing it wasn't my choice). Later that day, she told Lindy "My mom said I can wear whatever I want today and that she didn't care".

But I've realized that is confusing and manipulative. So I've since tried to phrase it better. Last Sunday I said "Lexi, that is not the dress that Mommy wants you to wear. I've told you how I feel about it. But I'm letting you make your own choice today".

I'm sure someday I'll read this, and roll my eyes and say "I can't believe I thought that was such a trial!". But when it is an issue EVERY single day and actually makes us late for school way too often and makes our mornings feel so dang stressful.....it does feel like an issue.

Wish me luck in not caring!