Jordyn's Mind

(self portrait)

Today I had a couple hours alone with Jordyn. We ran an errand together. I don't have much one-on-one time with my kids. They act different when they are alone. It's a nice side to learn of them.

I asked Jordyn many questions on our outing. Trying to impart bits of wisdom here and there.

What do you like that our family does? And what do you wish we would do different?

"Hmmm, I like that we go to church together. And......I wish we would move".

Me: "Move?" (confused)

Jo: "Yeah, like so we can be closer to Nathan". (I was like okaaaaay..... Nathan lives right BEHIND us and is in her class....don't think we can get a whole lot closer than that!).

What friends do you feel most comfortable with at school?
Paige L, Paige C, Alyssa, Megan. Sometimes Madi and sometimes Emma....but they're also bossy.

We also discussed:
-her hot cheetos
-how she loves Mrs. Stone
-how easy she thinks it looks to drive a car
-what it means to be beautiful inside and out
-how to act when friends are mean/bossy
-that she needs to drink more water
-what to tell kids when they ask about the little red mole that's growing on her neck


Oh heaven help me Jo....I hope I do a good job being your mom! I get the feeling you need and WILL need more than I can possibly know how to give.

Career, Life, Choices

Somehow....with each phase of my life, I've assumed that around the corner lies more certainty and less confusion. And each time I'm proven wrong.

So as I approach turning 33 this month, I keep thinking "I thought by the age of 33 I'd feel more...I don't know...confident and secure in life, and all the choices therein?".

And, to be fair, in some ways I am. But I am also a little more apprehensive - and even fearful - as I get older because I am less illusioned. I no longer believe that I can make all the right choices and - as a result - life will be easy or smooth. I have come to understand that hard things happen no matter what. So I no longer make choices based on what bad things I will avoid.....because there will be opposition in all things. Even when you make all the "best" choices.

If this sounds confusing....it is. It's what swirls around in my brain all the time.

I just feel so incredibly responsible for the life that my/our choices will create for my children. The choices Tucker and I make will dictate where they live, who their friends are, teachers they have, and all the tiny pieces that make up the picture of their experiences. It overwhelms me sometimes. And, although I know they will ultimately be fine no matter what, I want to make sure those tiny pieces are put together the best way possible!

So about 18 months ago, we survived a change of career. It has not been an easy road at all. It's been filled with confusion and doubt.But for some reason, we didn't feel it was the right time to search outside of our 60 mile radius, so that limited our options. At first Tucker applied to at least 60 places. Had several interviews. And a few offers.

And when presented with options like: Managing a restaurant 70 hrs per week sometimes until midnight, for a very basic salary...we still felt uneasy. Sometimes money doesn't trump environment, and having both spent years as servers, we knew that environment may not be worth the time or money. We also knew I'd be doing a semester of (free) student teaching and felt that we both could not be gone equal hours.

That led us to Watch Me Draw!. One of Tucker's closes friends, Alex, had started a company offering after-school drawing lessons to children about 5 years prior and had always offered us to start it up in our area. He was located in Southern Cal and had no interest in venturing up North, so it was fair game to us. We'd never previously had the time to devote to a start-up company ....but figured this was a perfect time to do so.



So in early 2009, as I went off to teach (for free) each day, Tucker worked from home on Watch Me Draw! We were still poor, but it felt right.

We've just hit the year mark of our first year with Watch Me Draw!. By no means are we rich yet....or even above water. But the response has been very positive and we are now in 16 schools locally, providing weekly drawing lessons to hundreds of children. Tucker hires the art teachers, and we purchase the art lessons from Alex. We do five 6-week sessions per school year at each school, plus a summer session. Tucker is working on getting into more school districts. It's a win-win situation because the parents pay for the drawing lessons, we give $5 per student BACK to the schools for the use of their classrooms....so the schools get a fund-raiser and the students still get art.

(Lexi's Pig, age 6)

(Jordyn's Pig, Age 8)

I have to say, our girls have developed phenomenal drawing skills from their year with Watch Me Draw! So it's fun that it has been a benefit to our kids too.

(and the story continues)

About four months ago, our Brother in Law James suggested Tucker's name as a Director of Sales for a start-up software company he was working for. Tucker evaluated the software (recruiting software for Police Depts and Corrections), and really liked it. The company is Corpus Solutions.
The catch: it would be 100% commission. Yikes.

The initial time committment would be 20 hours a week...but with no promise of pay. Call us crazy, but we figured what did we have to lose? He was already working from home and I was preparing to do my Long Term Sub job....(paid job! hooray).

While we felt the choices we were making were right for us in the long (hopefully not too long) run, it was hard not to second-guess ourselves. Should we be willing to move to Timbuktu if it means a salaried job? Should we take anything we're offered that has benefits? Should we put our house on the market to pay off debt?

But I kept going back to....yes, that would (or could) bring immediate relief...but also may create more problems in the long run. Whereas the things we were building and putting time into may not have be rolling in the dough, but we really believed in them AND they seemed lucrative in the long run.

So here we are April 2010. I'm not teaching everyday now, so that equals no $ from me. Tucker is working a LOT more than 20 hours per week at Corpus....no income yet, but a few deals in the works and a lot of momentum in the company. He is a key player in the development of this company and, if it keeps up like this, he would be able to continue to work from home. Watch Me Draw is still rolling and slowly growing...giving us some cashflow to live off of. And I am fully credentialed and COULD work if jobs were around.

(Tucker took a trip to Washington DC last month with the guys from Corpus to attend a convention for Police Departments)

But the self-doubt always tries to creep about. Are we doing the right thing? Should we bag it all and get "traditional" jobs? But I would really feel sad if we gave up the things we're doing because there is true passion there, and a vested interest. Even if the money isn't quite there yet.

So that takes me back to my thoughts "I thought by 33 I'd have it all a little more figured out!".

Only time will tell. Our story to be continued....

This Morning I am Thankful

So, last week was my first week of non-teaching and somehow I thought it would be more relaxing than it was. Life just seems to keep a fast-pace no matter what. I filled up my time being more of a mom (its amazing how long it takes running kids to and from EVERYTHING), which was great. I also spent a lot of time preparing to sell things at the Kingsburg Car Show (we set up booths in front of Trinkets & Treasures).

But this morning I am thankful to be home. I am thankful that the many things on my to-do list let me do them from home. I get to sit on my couch and design signs for Trinkets, do some contract work for my dad and figure out some finances....all from my computer at home. Which means I woke up and cooked my kids pancakes, while in my PJs. Finished up their homework, signed some notes, fixed their hair and got Jordyn and Lexi out the door for school. I've sat on the couch while it pours rain outside and played starfall.com with Peyton. I get to snuggle with her, teach her and laugh with her.

I can accept all the running around that life requires, and while I appreciate the experiences I have with working in the schools and at Trinkets, I also love the contrast of being at home (even if it is messy). I'm trying to appreciate all the little things I get to do with my kids....practicing piano, reading, cleaning, homework, talking....and all the things that can feel mundane at times. I am grateful that I GET to do those things because they truly are a privilege.

Need a New Toothfairy

Anyone want to send us their toothfairy? Ours is not doing so hot lately. Our cute little Lexi lost a tooth just before school one morning (I loooooove when they just fall out, drama-free). So by the time the evening came, not only did the toothfairy forget to come.......but we also lost the little tooth!

The very next day, she lost another tooth (same drama-free way!). This time, the toothfairy pulled through! Guess she knew not to disappoint Lex two nights in a row. My mom said I had to leave our toothfairy notes in order for her to remember, so maybe we'll have to try that!

So Thankful

On Wednesday morning I texted Lindy to tell her what time I'd pick up Lyric for preschool. Before I got her response, I jumped in the shower. As I was getting out, my cell phone kept ringing. No one really calls me (because they know I'm a texter) and so I found it strange that it kept ringing.

Next thing I knew, Tucker was handing me his phone saying "It's Lindy...I think something's wrong".

My heart started beating and I went into "emergency mode".

I could hardly understand her but she mumbled something about Mike....in an accident...at the hospital....doesn't know anything else.

It was slow motion and so scary. By this point, he had left for work three hours prior and so it had been three hours since the accident! My dad came to pick her up, I grabbed Lyric and my mom grabbed Paxton.

Hours later, we heard the news. He was okay. Got 8 staples in his head, a few stitches and was re-gaining memory (he had lost it for a bit). But it was a miracle.

On his way to work, in the dark, he had suddenly came upon a big tractor in the road. Tried to miss it, but ended up spinning out in front of a suburban. It was a horrible accident.

So bad, in fact, that when Lindy went to look at the car at the junk yard later that day, she was shocked. It did not look possible that a human survived. The only part of the car that WASN'T smashed in was the drivers door. There was no trunk left and she couldn't even find the middle console. A pen that was in Mike's pocket shattered. And all he got was a minor laceration.

Besides a seatbelt and airbag, there is no doubt in my mind that angels were surrounding him. It was not his time to go yet and I believe we all have angels around us all the time. Protecting us, helping us...both in big/scary times....and in small, unknown ways.

Later that day, I could not help but think about the "what ifs" and how life COULD'VE been forever different. But it wasn't. We were shaken up, but still functioned pretty normal (except Mike having to take a week off work to recover). And it could have changed every aspect of life. Our hearts could have been heavy. Just like "that". So fast. There is no way to prepare for the next sudden curve in the road of life. But we CAN try to let those experiences change our perception of the present moment....and enjoy it (both good and bad). Mike....so incredibly glad you're still with us!

Jordyn's Baptism!

What a special day! I feel so grateful and full of thanks for such supportive family and close friends. Jordyn had a wonderful and special baptism day! I hope she always remembers it...at least some of her feelings from it.

I loved the talks given by Gam and Grandma. I loved the notes everyone wrote her to put in her binder. I love the slideshow I made her with the song "What Heaven Sees in You". I love the people in the ward who stayed (and starved) after church to support us. I loved all the primary children singing "I Know That My Savior Loves me". I loved being able to help her change from her wet clothes...just she and I during those few minutes. I loved watching her....as a separate entity from me...have a special moment that was all HERS. I loved that the food BARELY fed everyone there afterward. And most of all, I love being Jordyn's Mom.

When we got home from church....I asked Jordyn to write a few things down about her special day. That was a lot to ask since she was tired, distracted by company and not in the mood....but here is what I got from her (I let her type it on the computer):

"Today I went to church. I got to get “BAPTIZED”!!!! It was SUUPPEEER FUN!! My family, friends, cousins, grandmas, grandpas and ALL the other people from my ward were there. I felt so so so so GREATFUL that I even felt the SPIRIT!!I got to read something that was short but it was about baptism. My cousins named Alyson & lyric read some too. It was a paper that talked about Jesus and how to obey him. My grandma Blasco gave the talk. The water was really warm when I got baptized. When I got in, people asked if the water was warm. It was fun getting baptized. When I was in class I um got some jolly ranchers and a book. Then I missed some of my class because I had to take pictures. I got confirmed by my dad he also baptized me.. My grandpas were there in the circle and my uncle I felt really happy."

Gam and Pa

It was sooooooo special to have Gam and Pa come to Jordyn's baptism! They drove over 24 hours to be with us for about 22 hours! It was such a sacrifice for them, but I cannot imagine having not had them with us. I'm so grateful that both sets of grandparents could be there to support Jordyn on her special day!

Gam and Pa pulled into town and, in true Grandparent fashion, pulled straight up to the girls' softball game! Watched them both score and then we went to Mexican for dinner. They helped us set up some tables at the church. The next day was 3 hours of church and then the baptism...what great sports to endure so much activity all for a 45 minute baptism! We love you guys!!!

(This is our Easter Sunday pic since there was no church - General Conference - on the actual Easter)

Fun With Grandma

First of all....swimming! Doesn't matter how cool a spring day it is, the kids cannot stay out of Gma and Gpa's tempting pool! They are little fish.

Alyson and Jordyn were privileged to have a special sleep over at grandpa and grandma's house!

And a trip to Chuck E Cheese is the place all the grand kids LOVE to go anytime, any day, anyway, anyhow, and especially to celebrate birthdays. For Jordyn's 8Th birthday my Mom, Dad and Lindy loaded up her all the kids (Peyton sorry you missed) and bravely were on their way! (I was working).

The kids pooled all the tickets they won from the games to the tune of about 620 tickets! Yes, you ready that correctly! They got to choose the "junk" stuff from behind the infamous counter to die for. They were very proud of their loot.

Getting Ready for Pics!

My mom has a tradition of coordinating Easter outfits for the grandkids. She did another fantastic job this year and it was extra special because Alyson was here so it was all six of the grandkids! Here is some of the pre-pic mayhem. Luckily our photographer met us at a part only 1 minute away, so it was fairly quick and painless once we got there! But the preparation can be a little stressful timing and managing it all!