OK, I don't usually post these sorts of feelings because they're a little more personal, but I'm going to today. I feel frustrated right now. I've awakened the past couple mornings to a stiff and arthritic body. You see, it came back full force after I had the baby, so I had a steroid shot in December, January and then again in the beginning of February. This was all in attempt to stave it off so I can continue to breastfeed a little longer. But I think, deep down, it was not JUST for that reason, but also because it scares me to start on, and commit to, weekly injections (which will stop the progression and joint damage). It seems like such a clear cut choice: Be crippled and in pain OR take the weekly injections and stop the arthritis. Obvious choice, right? But there are side effects to the medication that scare me - like it will supress my immune system which means I am susceptible to many other illnesses. So, anyway, I really can't get any more steroid shots...they're not good for you. And now that it's coming back, I need to make a decision. I wish there was a proven homeopathic route to try. But let's just say it took me 6+ months of experimenting with different herbs to figure out something that helped...and in the mean time I wouldn't be able to hold my baby, walk well or function properly. Doesn't seem possible.
I guess I am expressing these feelings today because when I feel it coming back like I do, it feels like I was hit by a truck in my sleep and I'm sore all over and very fatigued. So it makes it more of a reality. If you got this far, thanks for listening to my jumbled complaints! I know I'll figure it out.
The positive note for the day? Peyton has started sleeping (usually) from 9 pm to 7 am, which is SOOOOOOOOOOOOO wonderful! Thanks Peyton!
7 comments:
Jamie, I am so, so sorry to hear this. I have thought about you so much, dealing with such a difficult thing. I can't even imagine how tough it would be to have to try and function under those circumstances. I hope you receive relief from this and are guided in the direction you should go. We will definitely keep you in our prayers. And thanks for sharing what you're going through. You are so tough!
My friend (the kick boxing teacher and personal trainer) has really bad rhumatory arthritis. I know it is different but she takes prednazone and it really helps and she doesn't have side effects. Remember the many talks we have had about "medication" and how when it is someone else you wonder why they just won't take it but when it is yourself it is hard to do. Good Luck.
I wish I had some words of advice or some miraculous remedy for you. Unfortunately, I don't know much about arthritis, but I can pray for you! It is good that you have such a wonderful support around you. Take good care of yourself, for your family... it is your obligation... plus it will keep you happy
I give you permission to stop breast feeding. Peyton will survive on bleach...uh...I mean formula. All joking aside, chronic pain is no fun and you are allowed to complain. Peyton is sleeping through the night? Congrats!!!! That is reason for celebration!
Tiffany
Jamie, I'm so sorry that you are feeling so bad. Being in pain stinks. I hope you can begin treatment soon and feel better.
I think it is great you shared those personal feelings and complaints, who better to share them with than your dear friends. UNfortunately, I don't have one ounce of advice. But you are definitely in my thoughts and prayers. You are such an example to me of someone who is strong and wise, so I know you will do the right thing. I just wish I had more to offer YOU in this difficult time!
Jamie, I'm sorry you have to deal with such a difficult thing. I'll keep you in my prayers! Jill
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