I've near completed my third week. That's amazing! I've really enjoyed my experiences so far. I consider it a huge blessing from above that I have such a great relationship with my Master Teacher. With various other stresses in my life, the last thing I wanted to deal with was 9 weeks of being belittled or intimidated. She treats me like a peer, a co-worker and trusts me with any project or lesson. I don't dread coming to work at all because I actually enjoy being there (of course I dread it sometimes, but not because of her).
I work at a school with ONLY first graders. There are 13 female 1st grade teachers on one small campus. As you can imagine, the potential for conflict and competition is HIGH! And let me tell you something about myself....I HATE drama and competition. It is SO not me. I'm by no means a pushover or insecure....because I feel strong in my opinions. But I will avoid conflict at nearly all costs too. It's been so interesting to hear the "behind the scenes" of teaching. The gossip and drama that can seep into conversations makes me a bit uncomfortable. It takes a lot of effort to stay neutral, but I believe it is so worth it. I don't want to feel like I'm in Jr. High again.
So aside from my "behind the scenes" exposure, I some other feelings I'm struggling with: I am realizing that I have some issues with traditional, in-the-box-mentality, budget-cut school systems. On one hand, I understand the need for a curriculum, for assessments and for keeping the children on track. But so often throughout the day, I feel like we are herding cattle rather than teaching sweet little kids! I feel like we are throwing out worksheet after worksheet after worksheet. Followed by test after test after test. And we STILL never complete everything. Throughout the past three weeks, I've often wondered "where's the fun?".
To back up this point, yesterday the kids were on the rug area, which is where we start our math lessons. I was doing the math lesson and one of the kids pulled something out of his pocket and said "Can I share this with everyone?". And Mrs. Garza said "No, honey. I told you we don't have time for that kind of stuff!". My heart felt a little sad for a minute. I mean, I totally understand the need for every minute of every day to ensure we are fitting in the curriculum. But what happened to learning about each other and our individuality? What happened to enhancing each child and helping them embrace who they are? What about fostering their own creativity?
And to back up yet another point on individuality? What is wrong with one kid wanting to meticulously color some project, and the other kid not wanting to? How much am I supposed to encourage (force) a kid to color something who may just really not like it? Will he eventually foster a love for it, or will his interests lie more in math? Or what about the kids who REALLY don't do well with verbally administered group tests. What if their test score is really low....not because they don't know it, but because they can't focus in that sort of setting? Yet, there's not enough time for a teacher to pull them aside on every single test to do it individually. And there's not enough funding for an aide.
I guess I'm needing to mature my own perspective on this. I need to find out how much wiggle room each teacher has, each school has, and each district has to individualize each child. I just get so frustrated seeing these little kids marching around in the same exact little box trying to fit into the same mold, when they are all different. I feel so saddened that education receives ANY budget cuts at ALL. I can't believe how much teachers need aids and there are only two aides for our entire school of 200+ kids and they are solely for the English Language Learners (which are at least a third of our school).
I'm trying to stay in a learning zone and not in an opinionated zone....so I can soak up as much learning as possible. I just cringe every time we throw another spreadsheet at these kids. I get so tired of the pencil/paper stuff. And I know that, with time and experience, I can manipulate lessons and incorporate more hands on experiences. But it is a challenge to do this AND to meet the criteria within the time-frame alloted.
Lastly, I cannot believe some of the things these six year olds are learning. I asked a teacher who had been doing first grade for 23 years if she noticed the curriculum getting more difficult over time. And she said she hasn't used most of the 1st grade things she has collected over the years for the past 8 years because it has changed so much. This worksheet is an example of the word problems that are common in 1st grade. I think it's hard! And my question is......half these kids can't read well enough to understand the questions...so what do you do?
I guess I need to get rid of the thoughts that plague me, like "why can't we sing and dance" sometimes? What happened to using your creativity, getting your wiggles out and just being SIX YEARS old?
(I really am having a good time, and learning lots of positive things. These are just the thoughts plaguing me a bit right now that I had to get out there).
6 comments:
2 words...open classroom (google it). Sounds like things are going well! Only 14 more weeks!
Tiff, oh yes, I remember learning about this type of set up. I just wish there was a way to student teach in one to get a real day to day feel for it. I guess that sounds slightly opposite extreme from traditional. I guess something in the middle would be my cup o tea, and I wish I could figure out a good one to observe or teach in....
Luckily in Utah there are so many parents that volunteer to help with the NO teachers aides. In Savannah's class there is actually TWO volunteers that come in every day of the week. OH- Ryan told me they are trying to push a bill through this month that will make the cut off date now JULY 1st for Kindergarten. Interesting- I do feel that some of the younger kids in Savannahs class are WAY behind but I know this has a lot to do with the kid too not just their age.
I hope obama gets rid of or reforms no child left behind. The last 3 times I've volunteered in Jacob's class I've had this urge to pull him out and homeschool him for the exact things your talking about. These little 5 year olds are rushing through dumb worksheets as fast as they can like they are on such a time schedule. They are told to close their mouths all day long. something isn't right!
There is a "happy medium" in education.........just hard to pull it off. My classroom the last 5 yrs of teaching was honestly a different grade level than it was the first 15 years. Some of it was for the better but alot of good was thrown out. I do know with experience and lots of networking you CAN have a open learning environment and still met the GLS's. And NO, home schooling is NOT the answer.
it is frustrating from a teachers stand=point all that is "required" of the kids, and there really isn't a lot of wiggle room, time wise. Of course I taught upper grades and so we did have more opportunity for students to express themselves through projects and such.
from a parent stand point of a child who is so far ahead, it is also frustrating that there really is NO provided opportunity to advance at HER level, only those struggling. And yes being in her class once a week, I see way too many worksheets!
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