Maybe We Should Go Camping?

Tonight Tucker was setting up new 4-man tents for the scouts...in our living room.

Who knew what FUN it could be to the girls?

I guess its about time we go camping, huh?

Normal?

I need your help. Occasionally, I've had friends tell me that its difficult to view my blog....for various reasons...whether the background color is too bright or my margins cut off my words. I appreciate this feedback a TON, but the confusing part is that on MY end it is perfectly normal.

So, here's a screenshot of what I see on my blog. Is this how you see it? Please, most kindly leave me a little comment letting me know! Muchas Gracias!

Too Little

It must be hard being the littlest member of the family. It has been Peyton's main source of frustration lately (well, besides her molars). She wants to do EVERYthing her big sisters do. And tries.

One of the things I have actually laughed out loud about lately is her determination to get IN the tub with her sisters. This was the case again last night. I said "girls, go get in the tub!" (maybe 25 times and then they finally did it....we're working on "listening the FIRST time mommy says something"). And soon I heard the water running and the girls playing. Then I heard it. Peyton saying "Ugh, Ugh, Ugh, UUUUUGGGGHHHHH". Which is the sound she makes when she can't do something by herself (aka: all day long). I walk in to see this (see pic). And it never fails to make me laugh.

There is something so funny about it to me. I guess its her determination that she WILL get in no matter what. And then to see, from my viewpoint, how impossible that really is at her size. She'll just stand there with her leg up looking at me like "PPPPLLLLEEAAASSEEEE help me mom!". And after laughing, I pick her up and, after lots of kisses and cuddles, I plop her into the wet-and-wild-tub with her sisters ...and she is happy.

Spreading Sunshine

If nothing else, I hope my children grow up learning compassion and service for others. I believe this is key to a well-rounded and happy person.

And since I love to bake, it gives us lots of opportunities to deliver treats to others! The girls love this and, though it is a small act, I think it gives them a glimpse into how wonderful it is to think of someone else.

A few days ago, we took cookies to my sister and my Mom. Just a simple "thank you" to Lindy for helping me with the girls a lot lately, and a "welcome home" to my mom. The girls were thrilled! It was pouring rain outside, and they did NOT care. They insisted on taking up the cookies themselves. It makes me so happy to see them learning to serve and care about others.

It's Back to School!

For both the kids and I.

I've had mixed feelings about the break (which I probably share with every other mother out there). On one hand, I LOVED the break from our normal schedule. It was nice to lounge in pajamas a little longer in the mornings and stay up later at night.

But on the other hand, I feel happier when I'm organized and have structure. And school brings that structure. Jordyn is ready too. She's been asking telling me every day that she can't wait to go back to school!

Tomorrow marks the first day of my fourth online class with National University. A few months ago, I decided it felt like a good time to get my teaching credential and opted for the online program. That way, I hardly ever have to leave the kids and I can do most of it online in the evenings. Each class is 4 weeks long. I tell ya, getting a credential for the state of California is no easy task. There are lots of tests to pass, classes to take, and programs to fulfill.

The reasons I'm doing this? Well, there are many. I think that having a teaching credential opens possibilities for the future. I don't have definite plans to teach full time yet, but there are part-time options that may be a possibility over the next few years.

I will finish my courses in June and then can student teach in the fall. But this also causes me anxiety for three reasons:

Anxiety #1) I haven't needed child care with any of my children. To step into this unknown world for 4-5 months causes me anxiety. When you student teach, you keep full time hours just as the teacher. So, my kids would need to go somewhere after school, and I'd have Pey go somewhere 7 hours per day. Ugh. It gives me a headache to think about. And on top of that, I'd have to pay for all the extra child care....without getting a penny for student teaching. We'll see. I have 5 years to complete my credential once I start, so I have the option to postpone it somewhat.

Anxiety #2) Will I need to put Lexi in childcare along with Peyton? Or not? There is no right answer for this question. It just depends on if Tucker and I decide to start Lexi in Kindergarten next year. She makes our cut-off in CA by a few weeks. I've worried about this for over 4 years, and now that Kindergarten registration is around the corner, we've got to decide. She and Jordyn would be 1 year apart in school. Which could be good and bad. I've talked about this till I'm blue in the face, and I hear all sorts of stories both pro and con. I just want to make sure I pick the right thing because the kids in her grade will be her closest friends. I wish I could see into the future and know what to do!

Anxiety #3) What if we decide to have ONE more baby? Should I do it now and postpone the student teaching? Or should I get the student teaching done with and then possibly have another baby? If I'm gonna do it one last time, I don't really want a big gap, I just want to get it done with. And, what if I'm just insane for even thinking about a fourth baby? I mean, am I really cut out to have FOUR kids? Or is four not really that different than three? You're already outnumbered, right? OK, I'm gonna stop this here because this subject alone could lend itself to a long and boring analysis. I've already given you too much of a peek into the "cluttered mind of Jamie".

Teething?

Ugh, this kid!! She is so stinkin' cute and so fun! But she is also a little posessed lately. I vote that its teething. But last night I told Tucker maybe she has some terminal illlness that's causing her to be posessed?

For two weeks now, she has been a crying, sleepless child. It's getting pretty old by now. I'll put her to bed at her normal 8:00.....and often she'll wake up HYSTERICAL an hour later and will NOT go back to sleep. So I get her up and she is completely happy playing. Usually, I can get her back to sleep 2-3 HOURS later (and that is after much screaming, and protest). Sometimes this will happen from 1 am to 4 am, which is the worst. I have tried everything imagineable to change this. The only good part is she is sleeping until 11:00 because of her bad night sleep! This has been great during Christmas break because I can get lots of stuff done before she gets up....but next week when school starts again it will be hard!

I'm sure its a phase and it will pass because thats proven to be the case with any hard stage my kids have gone through. But how much longer can I endure??? I'm sure she's cutting her molars, which I'd be fussy and sleepless if I had toothaches too, so I'll be patient with her. Like they say, "its a good thing she's cute!".

Happy New Year 2008!

Our last evening of 2007 was a blast!

We had food, games, family and friends....what more could you want? Along with their children, we had Lindy & Mike, Beth & Dane, Heather & Jason and Kristy & Ryan. Everyone stayed till about 1:00 am and somehow our kids (9 total) endured quite well! They played their hearts out the WHOLE time!

Here's a snapshot of our festivities...

We played Buzz! The Mega Quiz for PS2 - a fun gameshow game. It makes you feel all nervous like you're on Jeopardy or something (okay, its not THAT hard)

Played a little Sequence

Played a little Cranium (boys vs girls.....girls won!)

More Cranium, it was hilarious

The kids had a blast too

Played all night long!

Paxton's not too sure here about his first New Year's Eve, but he was (as always) a happy little, I mean BIG, baby

Tucker likes to party pretty hard.....with his Kool-Aid!

I made my first bundt cake (Christmas present from my mom).

And we ATE lots of GREAT finger foods (bean dip, spinach-artichoke dip, little smokies, carrots & dip, pickel-ham roll ups, chex munchie mix, egg salad sandwiches, chips, candy, soda.......)

And finally it was time to watch the ball drop and celebrate the New Year! Luckily with the DVR, we could do it 3 times for the kids!

And what a great sister.....at 12:30 am Lindy was washing dishes! She was probably just trying to stay awake! Thanks!

So happy that we had a FUN and SAFE evening.

Happy New Year to everyone!

Mothering Thus Far

I've been pondering my experience as a mother thus far. I often recall a conversation I had with a fellow mother...nearly 4 years ago. I think Lexi was a baby and Jordyn wasn't even two. I hadn't hit a really difficult phase with either child yet. I mean, of course it was a lot of work to merely care for their needs. But they hadn't yet developed opinions and I didn't have to do much discipline or really teach them much (besides "please" "thank you" or "ABC"). They were still oblivious to how I felt - if I was happy, sad, mad, etc. I was able to keep things pretty much how I wanted them. Bedtime, naps, food, clothing, was exactly how I pictured it to be.

This mother had kids a few years older than I did. Maybe 5, 3, and 1.

She asked me one day "Do you think you are a better mother , or a worse mother, than you thought you'd be?

I was caught off guard, but I honestly answered "I think I'm better than I thought I'd be". I hadn't ever really been a 'baby person' per say, so I had thus far been pleasantly surprised with how much I loved my girls. I guess I equated loving them with being a good mother.

She seemed as though that is not the answer she expected, and when I asked her in return, she said "I am worse than I thought I'd be. I can't seem to keep up, and I always wonder if I'm teaching them enough. I feel like I'm always shouting out commands to them. I feel guilty a lot".

I've pondered this conversation often since then. Little did I know, I was on the brink of some changes. Soon thereafter, Jordyn entered her 2's. The term "terrible twos" might sound cliche, but it was so real for her. She went from a very easy-going, happy child to an emotional wreck. I felt so guilty because there were some days I didn't even like her - and how could a "good" mother possibly not like their child?

And then about a year later, the sibling rivalry began. I couldn't have imagined the change that would bring about in my mothering experience. Along with sibling rivalry came friend rivalry. I was convinced Jordyn would never have any friends because she would fight so much.

Fast fwd to today. I have a 5 (nearly 6) year old, 4 year old and 1 year old. I have the contrast of a baby compared to the 4/5 year old and I ask myself "back when Jordyn was a baby,why did I think it was so hard?". But at the time it WAS hard and it WAS a big change in my life to have a baby. It's just that now, instead of the baby being as hard to me, she is a comfort to me. She doesn't argue with me, she gives me lots of snuggles and she still thinks I am the best thing in the world! She is my sanity many days!

I know children learn much more by example than by words. That has been hard for me, as they've become older and much more aware....they are also much more aware of how I feel, how I react, what I say, how I handle my anger or frustration. I feel so responsible for what they learn - both by my actions and my words. It is overwhelming at times. Its a lot of work to merely keep their clothes clean, their bellies full and their bodies washed. But then to make sure school work is done, and freindships are cultivated, and compassion is taught, and a love for God is instilled, and a respect for mom & dad are enforced, and responsibilities are given..........

Whew! I guess what I'm saying is I just had no idea. I really could not have imagined how much work it is to be a parent. To be a good parent. It is so much more than just loving these children. Because I love them more than I could have ever imagined. But serving them and raising them is definitely the most selfless thing I could ever do. I have such a deep respect for my own parents and what they have done for me....and for the many other adults who have influenced me. My mom made it look so easy! Ha!

I'm sure I'll read this in a year and laugh at my naivete at what was to come. I see my parents with teenagers at home still and I do realize it doesn't get easier any time soon!

I wouldn't trade this experience of being a mom for the world. It truly is the BEST thing and the HARDEST thing all rolled into one.

Dinner...and a Little Karaoke

These cell phone pics were the best "evidence" we could capture...

We've had a couple of fun dates this week!

Last night we went to Famous Dave's with Lindy and Mike and got down & dirty with our fingers with some yummy BBQ (except Lindy who uses a fork & knife for her wings!). We tried to see a movie, but they were all sold out. So, of course the next logical choice would be the nickel arcade, right? It's been about 8 years since I've been there....and you could tell we weren't the average age in attendance. But it was fun and Tucker & Mike got a good fill of Donkey Kong, Mrs. Pacman and Galaga. Thanks, Ryan, for babysitting!

Then tonight we went out with Beth & Dane. We decided on sushi and Tucker recalled this little place he'd been to before. It was decorated so cool and had a 80's theme. We finished a yummy dinner just in time to hear them announce that it was 8:00 - Karaoke Time! It totally caught us off guard, and we were immediately intrigued. The party got started pretty fast, and before we knew it, we'd put our names on the list! Dane was Mr. Cool and stayed calm while Beth & I were biting our nails off in anticipation. Dane got up there and rocked the house with "Urgent" by Foreigner. And Beth & I did "More Than Words" by Extreme. Tucker claims he couldn't find the "right" song...but I think he was just chicken. :-) He promises he'll be first next time. I'd never karaoked in a public place like that and it was actually really fun/ny! Thanks, Lindy & Mike, for watching the girls!

Our Christmas Journey

First Stop: Dinner with Dane, Beth & co.

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This is our annual tradition with them. We get together for dinner and do a gift exchange. We had a yummy taco dinner and a fun time. I can't believe the kids are getting so big. Lindsay (6), Jordyn (5), Jacob & Lexi (4), Luke & Peyton (1). It's so fun to have such great family friends.

Next Stop: Christmas Eve at Mom & Dad's

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We had a fun family night at my Mom and Dad's house. My mom got the kids matching outfits to make it feel more festive (and cute)!

The whole fam minus Carly and Alyson (sad, we missed them).



is still so wierd to see Pey walking around. She loves her newfound freedom and looks so dang cute trying to balance herself!



Grandma got some good snuggles in


And the kids always love to play with Grandpa



For my mom's gift, Lindy and I transferred old VHS tapes onto DVD (what a huge project that was!) and I also printed out her blog and put it in a binder for her

My mom got the girls their big request of a cash register! They love them!

Kristy commented the other day how she never got her own special birthday cake from me....so I surprised her and made her a "Scion" logo (of her beloved car)

The kids even ended their night with matching jammies.

Third Stop: Christmas Morning at Our House!

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Since the girls love taking pics and are always stealing my camera, I thought this Fisher-Price camera (at Costco) would be perfect! I even splurged and got them each their own. But they were pretty crappy, so I talked to them and decided to take one back and get something else for them (they want High School Musical barbies, but somehow those are nowhere to be found right now).

Pey, of course, wanted EVERYthing her big sisters got. I KNEW I should have just tripled every gift! I'll remind Santa of that next year!

Tucker's gift to the girls was their very own Camelbak. He always takes them to REI, and they see the 67 Camelbaks he owns, so they were excited to have one of their own (although they DID say they wished they were pink!)

Tucker was VERY excited about his "Utes" gifts!

Final Stop: The Tree is GONE!!

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And oh my gosh, the needles it left behind!!! I can't believe we didn't break our vacuum this year. Today I went on a search for a fake tree (after-Christmas sales!) and I can't find one taller than 7.5 feet with colored lights. Sigh. At least for now my living room is dead-tree-free!

Hope your Christmas was as enjoyable and happy as ours!

A Little Post-Christmas Blogging

As I sit here, at 2:40 pm on Christmas Day, still in my pajamas, it feels GREAT to be doing NOTHING! I have done way too much of something-or-another every single day for weeks and weeks....so I am absolutely thrilled to do nothing right now. Today, I've enjoyed watching the kids play with their toys, listen to Christmas music, eat my mom's toffee, read the 20 year old family memo's (thanks Jeannine!) and just R-E-L-A-X!

I have much back-tracking to do as far as photo journaling goes of our wonderful past few days. I'll do it soon. But maybe tomorrow, because I am enjoying relaxing today.

Last night was a fun Christmas Eve at my parents' house. And here's how it went down from there on out:

10:15 pm - Children nestled all snug in their beds

1:15 am - "Santa" finished his work and, ma and pa finally crawled into bed

5:30 am - Little Peyton decides to no longer be "nestled in her bed" and wakes up. Lexi follows her. With eyeballs on our cheeks, Tucker and I dileriously attend to crying children.

7:30 am - Finally (grrrr) the two children are actually back asleep.

8:30 am - Jordyn is up and BURSTING with excitement to see Santa's surprises. We make her wait for Lexi.

9:15 am - Lexi is up, we make our grand entry into the living room. Fun! Presents! Smiles!

11:45 am - (yes, THAT late) Peyton wakes up for Christmas morning....or afternoon I guess. A couple hours late. Little stinker.

I've been pondering what a grand duty it is to be a mother. Not only am I in charge of the daily tasks of my children, but I am responsible for the memories they make of their childhood! I oft' wonder....did I make Christmas meaningful enough? do they understand the spiritual aspect of this sacred holiday enough? did I get them the right presents that are worth cluttering up my house?

But for now, I feel satisfied with today. Very happy to have spent time with my family.

And a little tired. (oh, and if I weren't so tired, this dead tree would be OUTTA HERE! Soon...)

Christmas Cards

Who doesn't love to open their mailbox this time of year, only to have the bills outnumbered by Christmas Cards? It's so fun too see pics and hear from people you love, even some who you only really hear from once a year. I love it!

A few years back, when the photo cards began to be really popular, I felt really wierd about just tossing all these pictures into the trash once Christmas is over.

So I had an idea. I got a Christmas style photo album and every year, once Christmas is over, I slip all of the photos into it. This is my fifth year doing it, and it really is fun to look back through it.

Life Through Lexi's Eyes

Lexi has had a newfound love for my digital camera. I am constantly finding her with it. And I am constantly finding interesting pictures on my camera.

Here is life through the eyes of Lexi:

There are the most pics of this annoying cat...whom she adores

See what I mean?

She brings the camera to me, shows me this picture and says "Mom, Peyton's awake!" I have to wonder if she woke up naturally, or because a FLASH was in her face!

Here you can see Belle's butt, she's madly running away from the camera!

And she captured Tucker doing his recent obsession - the Rubix cube! He's solved it 25+ times all by himself this week.

And that, my friends, is what stands out in the eyes of a 4 year old!