No matter what system I've tried (marbles, charts, consequences and rewards), I usually have to ask Jordyn 8,000 times before she actually stays on task. It gets really annoying and then she is really good at blaming it on 8,000 things.
"Start your homework" (x 10)
"Unload the dishwasher" (x 10)
"I don't CARE if the flat-iron is not on, do NOT put it in your mouth in front of your little sister and teach her it's okay!"
"You opened the back gate and let the little kids out front when I specifically asked you not to?"
"I asked you to brush your teeth, and instead you are hiding in Lexi's closet with Peyton and knocking ALL the clothing down?"
I finally lost it, yelled and made her go to her room without our usual bedtime routine. It was a Satan-y yell though. Like "you've pushed every button I have" yell. I hate that kind of yell. It makes me feel like a combination of on fire and a total failure as a mom.
It makes it double bad because Peyton takes Jordyn's lead. The more frustrated I get, the more she KEEPS doing whatever it is she's doing. I can usually play the reverse-psychology game with her and it works, but I was wayyyyy too impatient tonight to do that.
Some days, it just feels like I'm living in a zoo and it wouldn't matter if I went and shut myself up in the room in a bubble bath because they ignore everything I say. And the worst part about those days is, they perpetuate themselves. Meaning, it ends up being impossible to re-set it to a be good day, or normal day. Once my patience is gone, my energy totally attracts the exact thing I'm hating! Which is why I try SO hard to stay patient. It benefits us all in the end. But man it's hard sometimes.
I feel guilty when I feel this frustrated because I love my girls so much, they are such great kids, they try so hard at everything they do and they are healthy and alive! Complaining feels trivial to me, so I try not to horriblize things. But man, sometimes (like tonight) I could really pull my hair out!
7 comments:
Oh man it is good to hear this though because you are not alone. Cooper is my really tough kid- he totally melts my heart but its almost like he loves to disobey or see how far he can push me. And Ryan and I talk about how Cannon seems to be just like Cooper. The other day Luka asked me why Cooper likes to be so naughty- Ryan and just started laughing that a 2 year old was so insightful!
Sometimes I do the Satan yell too...and I think that's exactly what I call it. It's okay for your kids to see a range of emotion...even the Satan emotion. You are a good mom...the best! Tomorrow is a new day.
Ohhh sister, you would feel MUCH better if you listened to the way I have to yell at Jake more than I would like!! I feel every thing you wrote! Sorry!
I completely agree and since I have started school and have even less time AND patience, I am an even bigger BAD MOM! And Katie it is funny you made that comment because as sweet as my little Nalu is I see some of Kaipo coming out of him?!?!?!?
I hate when that happens, but it is practically every night around here. I am working on my yelling, but it is so hard when you are so frustrated with your kids. We have changed our way of disciplining around here and it is working for us. We only let the kids watch 1 hour of "screen time" a day including computer and television. This is new, they used to watch it all day long. If they backtalk the first thing that goes is "screen time", second time being naughty they get an hour of extra work, their time they are grounded to their room for the day. It has worked for us and the girls HATE it, so it works. :) Good luck.
I know how you feel. It is SO hard to be patient when they know exactly what buttons to push. My oldest is the hardest, too. She can bring on such an attitude and I have to remind myself that I am the parent and not a teenager. Like someone else posted, I have started making them do chores if they are misbehaving. It has seemed to work and it helps clean the house.
You obviously aren't the only "bad mom" out there. I'm sometimes afraid what my neighbors think of me because I know they have heard me yell.
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