The Past Two Weeks

This is sort of a crazy picture to put with this post…but it shows where Tucker’s been for the past 10 days.  He went to China with his mom, dad, Maren, Greg, Jaden, Taylor and Lyndsy…to visit Derek who has lived there for 6 years.  It was quite a huge trip to pull off and took a TON of planning on Maren’s part, especially.  But they finally did it and I’m anticipating lots of pretty crazy stories when he returns.  It’s been hit & miss talking to him while he’s been there because the internet is much more government-regulated there and much harder to get free wifi. But thank goodness for the App “Voxer” because it’s really the only way we’ve been able to communicate.

Anyway, I’m feeling very worn down at this point.  Not just because he’s been gone, but that certainly hasn’t helped.   (I have to insert that I’m truly grateful for family and friends around me who care and support me when I need it.  Little things can – and have - make a huge difference! Even though I’m worn down, I don’t want to discount that!).  But the feeling worn down…that’s not unusual right now for me.  This last semester of school is taking much more time and energy than I really have to give.  So I’m going into the deficit to achieve all that I have to do.  The day Tucker left (last Tuesday morning…except he had already been gone for the most of the previous week finishing up a humungous life-changing proposal at work), I got rear-ended really badly here in town.  I had Peyton and her friend Ava with me, we were sitting at a stop sign and a lady came barreling into us from behind…not having slowed down.  At least going 25 mph.  It was so jolting, scary and ended up being painful.  I’ve never had whiplash until now.  The girls are okay, but it shook them up a TON.  And hurt their little heads/necks :-(.  I was so thankful my parents live down the street – they came in a flash.  We also had a couple members of the ward stop by to see if we were okay (we were at the scene of the accident for like 80 minutes…and it was a really cold day with 27 mph winds!).  So that has taken up a lot of time, energy and thought process over the past two weeks to get everything straight and taken care of (and get the nearly $3,000 in damage to my Honda fixed).  Remember…this is energy I already didn’t have.

I had a huge Exit Observational Assessment  paper due this week, about six pages…*sigh* it took way too much thought.  Tried to do that at night when the kids were in bed, but by 8:30/9:00…my brain wants to shut off!

I spent a ton of time in Lexi’s classroom this week…helping with projects and delivering 58 pizzas to the school for their trimester AR goal party.  Lexi also had two wonderful occasions…a Glee performance (I will blog more) where she had two solos, as well as a Poetry & Prose audition (just like Peach Blossom) in Visalia.  So the extra things, along with the typical dance, softball, homework, Activity Days, laundry, feeding everyone (why does this drain me?)…sometimes I feel so much like an ant building an anthill.  So small and yet so much to do.

And finally, my sweet, sick Mom Shirl finally lay her weary body to rest last night and returned home to Heaven.  :-(  No matter how much you know it’s coming…it is still very sad and really makes you reflect, on everything.  So we will have a funeral for her next week.  I am sooooo incredibly grateful this fell during my spring break because it is nearly impossible to miss any hours of class to complete this degree and I was nervous to be faced with that sort of dilemma (not to sound trite or cold).

I’m sure I am doing too much right now.  I’m sure I need to take a few balls out of the air.  I just don’t even know what to eliminate right now and I really just keep telling myself that life will feel better in 10 weeks when I have my Friday/Saturdays back. I really try to focus on the blessings and little acts of kindness along the way that really, truly help so much.  I don’t want that overwhelmed feeling to make me get stuck in seeing life as ALL hard and stressful because then I stop appreciating the things that really matter.  Like hugs and kisses from my kids.  Or the beautiful weather.  Or the amazing people in our lives who love and encourage my children.  And the list could go on.

Alas, my brain is hardly working now.  My neck is in pain.  And I have a long weekend ahead.  I shall retire to my bed, even though I want to revel in the silence and peace of the night.

***Oh wait…you know another thing that is draining? Having an old dog with hardly any teeth who will ONLY eat ground up or cut up human food.  Thank HEAVENS my mom actually made her some home made dog food, enough for a week…that has saved me this week I tell ya!  And who brought these three rabbit into our home who take so much attention???  OH YEAH, that would be ME!  Crazy me!  I love that the girls are old enough to have lots of stuff delegated to them.  They are very capable.  But that also takes a mom with energy to STAY ON TOP of that delegation!  I try to do it without sounding like Hitler.  Which I succeeded in doing so…until tonight.  Hitler slipped out a bit.  Oops!