My second class is Thursdays and I do have to be on campus for this one. So I still do my big drive once a week, but just for one three hour class, which means I get home about 10:30pm instead of 1:30am. Time-wise it is better, but the class is less dynamic to me. It is totally packed, and it's more of a general Special Ed class for several different master's programs, so there is less of a connection with my classmates. And my teacher has a very unusual disorder called Prosopagnosia. With this disorder, the brain cannot recognize faces. She actually can't even recognize herself in pictures! She does a REALLY good job considering how awkward it must be to be a professor and a department head when you have such a disorder! She has asked us to say our name when we approach her, because she remembers things about us...just not what we look like! Something about her disorder distracts me. I analyze what she is thinking, seeing and feeling. It makes me wonder if people will send people to class for them to take notes! Very fascinating.
I'm having a week where I am being very hard on myself. Overwhelming thoughts of never doing enough for my kids, not eating healthy enough, not spending enough time with people, not happy enough, not motivated enough, not spiritual enough, etc etc etc. The mind is a powerful thing because I know these statements are not accurate or healthy. But my brain is stuck on them this week. I'm really hoping to blame it on PMS and move on from it because it's making me feel really stifled!
5 comments:
I know I always say it, but you will blink and your Master's program will be over. I need to google that disability...very interesting!
What you are doing is good enough...for everyone. Your kids are fine and I love you!
The mind is powerful- and so is Satan. Remember that. Satan is the negative part and your mind is the positive part. Satan knows when and how to attack. Some days he weighs on my every thought, like the ocean, heavy and over powering. There are days I can hardly pull my body out of bed, but I close my eyes tight and pray so hard, then I picture my kids and when that doesn't work, I picture other things that some how motivate me. Or I find someone I can do something for because for some reason when I get out of my stuff and help someone else that ALWAYS makes me feel better. Maybe because Satan would NEVER do that only Jesus. I love you- Stay strong.
Katie shared some great thoughts that reminded me how to stay strong and fight the adversary. I do too have many of your same thoughts, more often than I would like for sure!! It is Satan for sure making you think those negative things about yourself, because you are doing your very best and WE all know that! YOU just need to keep telling yourself it. Your semester a little more manageable, and yes your professor sounds interesting! Love you Jme. YOU definitely inspire and motivate me to do better! Keep it up and stay strong!
Very interesting about your professor. I am horrible at remembering names, but I am good at remembering faces.
Hang in there! You are a great person and a mother!
Jamie: I wish you had been at our Stake Conference. So positive and uplifting. I love you! This too shall pass. Love, Jeannine
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