In a Rut

I’m in a bit of a blog rut lately.  Which is different than being too busy to blog.  Even when I am extremely busy, I feel an urgency to catch up often on my blog.  This blog rut is a result of a bit of a life rut I guess.

I just feel overwhelmed.  It is such a huge responsibility to make sure EVERYTHING is done for these three humans.  Homework, getting them to dance, signing the million school papers that come home, helping in the classroom, making sure they are healthy, taking them to the doctor when they aren’t, teaching them to be kind and about Christ, teaching them to clean and how to problem solve on their own (i.e. NOT TATTLE), making sure they get good attention and enough one on one conversation, making sure they eat healthy…

 

I wouldn’t want it any other way than to have these three girls…but it’s just a lot sometimes.

 

I think part of it is how much Tucker is gone for work.  I’m really feeling some sole-responsibility-stress.  He is working extremely hard and really diving in with his sales team (himself, Chris and Robert) and their company is growing like crazy.  But it also requires him to travel all over California a lot.  Sometimes it’s a day trip to LA and back.  Other times it’s a four day trip to four different places. 

 

And I’m also feeling it extra because we’ve had some sickies around here lately.  Jordyn hasn’t felt totally healthy for like two weeks.  She has had a tummy ache, a cold and/or a headache a lot lately. 

But Pey is my biggest stress.  She has so many different ailments it is making me insane.  I actually feel worried about her, but I can’t put my finger on it.  I am so not a reactionary mom, but I haven’t been able to fix this one.  She has had a perpetual tummy ache for…I don’t even know how long now.  Months.  I’ve tried using lactose free milk and it doesn’t help.  For a long time, I attributed it to her not being a good eater, so I figured “hurt” meant “hungry”.  Which is true sometimes, but not all the time.  She probably complains of it 15 times a day. 

 

 

she was NOT happy about this pic if you can’t tell.  her poor nose is sooooo red despite the million ointments I’ve put on it

Then last week she started complaining that she still had to go potty immediately after she’d just finished.  She would cry and cry.  So I took her into her Pediatrition (for a fun sit-in-my-office-for-two-hours-waiting-with-three-bored-kids) thinking maybe it was a UTI.  Her urine test came back (his words) “her white cells are high, but there is no bacteria so it is not an infection and just indicates there is some external irritation”.  But that didn’t make me feel better.  So after some convincing that I’d like more testing, he gave me orders for urine and stool cultures (which was NOT fun for me to catch).  We’ll hear back in about a week.

 

So aside from a REALLY whiney, lethargic, tummy-ached 4 year old…then she came down with a bad flu this week.  She has been fevery, coughy, more-tummy aches and total stuffy head, congested and mucusy.  It’s been a long week.  This has also been ALL night long.  Peeing in my bed, crying in the night…makes me feel like I have a newborn again.  I just feel really helpless and like I don’t know how to help her.

 

Tonight, one of my friends mentioned the possibility of it being a gluten issue with her.  Hmmm, I’ll have to compare symptoms.  Maybe?

 

So I’m a bit worn down.  On top of the normal stressors, now no sleep, single-parenting it, worried about my sick kid and wondering how school will fit into all of this next week?

 

(there actually ARE still some happy things I will soon catch up on but for now I am just plain too tired)