Any Ol' Thursday

This morning my car wouldn't start. Thank goodness Tucker had already taken the girls to school! Pey and I were supposed to be on our way to a school to pick up our Watch Me Draw registrations and then on to Harmony. But the car had other plans for us...so I called my dad. How nice of him to appear on my porch in 5 minutes to help! He jumped my car, followed me to the mechanic and let me borrow his (again, how nice of him!). Come to find out we need a new alternator.

So we made it just for the end of Harmony and then I went to get my hair done. Haven't had it colored or highlighted since the beginning of the year, so I was definitely ready. There is a girl at Trinkets who does hair, so we are trading services with each other! Trading is great.

Lindy had Pey, so when I was done I ran to pick up Lyric from school. (Again, trading is awesome!) Had Pax and Ly come play for a couple hours since Thursdays are a pretty low-key afternoon for us. Paxton is so funny and SUUUUUUCCCHHH a boy. It's so fun to have him around because he really adds spice to our girl dynamic. Lately, the second he arrives at my house, he goes straight to my hall closet and gets both extensions to my vacuum hose. He puts them together and they become whatever he imagines them to be. Usually a sword or gun. We've had to hide them from him because he gets a bit violent, but he did a great job today keeping it in control. I reminded him that he is welcome to hit the couch or the bed, but not the other kids ;-)

Just before Mike was getting ready to pick them up, I was walking down the hallway and looked down in time to see that I was about to step on a toy. Or....what I thought was a toy until I saw it move. I moved my foot just in time to miss a huge, tail-less lizard! SIIIICK! Haven't had a lizard in the house since I lived in Hawaii and we had gecko-roomates all over the place. I'm sure it was a gift from our loving kitty, but this one wasn't dead! I was so scared of it running up my leg, so I just waited and watched it until Mike came and I made him catch it for me. I don't think he was very excited about it, but he did it!

Tucker was at an MBT sponsored golf tournament and dinner in Fresno (poor guy, huh?) and wasn't home yet so I was slaving over a healthy dinner with choice of Ramen Noodles or canned Chicken Noodle Soup. Pey was sort of grumpy, so I heard her and Lexi having a conversation at the table. Peyton loudly says "I'm nervous at you Lexi, don't talk to me!". Then I hear Lexi (who still takes Pey pretty literally) ask a few times, "Why are you nervous to talk to me Pey?". I started trying to say "Lexi, she is mixing up her words and probably means frustrated", but instead I started laughing hysterically. Pey seriously keeps us all laughing all the time.

All the while I'm painting, blinging, crafting, refereeing, helping with homework, listening to Lexi read her A.R. book, helping Jordyn create a powerpoint (she is learning that in class), etc. But no cleaning, laundry or my own homework. It will always be there tomorrow, right? It was a good day.

My Day

Email to my mom the other night…thought I’d blog it for today’s journal:

 

I'm so tired tonight.  This morning, Pey and I rented a cement drill from Home Depot, and went to Trinkets to put up my silhouette stuff.  The wall is half cement, so I had to learn how to drill into it!  It was actually really fun!  You should stop by and see my new wall there, I think it looks really good.  Then we got the girls and dropped off Watch Me Draw Flyers at Selma schools.  Then Wal Mart for some food and dance clothing for Jordyn.  Then dance class and finally home at 6:25.  Then dinner, homework, bath and by 9:00 they were all in bed.  Tucker was home for like 15 minutes in between work and scouts.  And do you think I found time to do any reading for school?  Of course not.  That has been how every day feels lately.  And then there are two birthday parties this weekend for the kids.  I wish I could stay up as late and alert as I used to, but I am so done by 10, my brain could not read homework assignments by then.  This will be interesting adventure!

But when I am at school, I really love it. In fact, there are three blind guys in my classes!  So we did our practicing being the "traveler" (aka blind person) and Human Guide.  We take turns doing each with a partner.  Well, my partner both times were two of the blind guys!  So I got to lead an actual blind person, which was great.  But then a blind person led ME as a pretend blind person!  It was a bit scary.  This time we were only in a hallway.  But next week we will practice on stairs!  Luckily the blind people are very used to using their canes, etc, but still!  I got to listen to a guest lecture from an Opthomologist.  He was really cool.  During his presentaion, he mentioned that he was a "lay minister" as well as an opthomologist.  Well, not many religions use that term, so afterwards I asked him what church he was a minister for. Surprise surprise, he said "I'm a mormon".  He actually is in the Stake Presidency for the San Francisco stake.  Small world. 

At the end of his presentation, he said something that hit my core.  He said "you know, you are not just going to be Orientation and Mobility Specialist.  You aren't just going to help visually impaired people get around.  You are first going to be therapists, THEN Orientation & Mobility (O&Ms).  I can attest to that after 30+ years in this profession".  I loved that because I really feel that.  Tucker has asked me why I am choosing this as opposed to a Therapist as I've always talked about.  And I've told him that same thing before, that I really feel that I will still be doing therapy for families dealing with vision loss.  So when the Dr. said that, I felt really reaffirmed in my thoughts.

I am so nervous about doing this and the committment now that I see how much Tucker is gone.  But I also don't see any other option THAN to finish it.  I know it will be worth it.  Just not a small feat.

The drive there is never too bad.  It gets me in the mindset and out of my "life" so I can focus once I'm there.  The drive home is a bit harder.  I got home at 1:15 on Monday, so it really could be much worse.  I know in inclement weather I will take Shana up on her offer of staying there, but for now it feels easier to be back for the school morning for the girls.  Driving home on the Bay Bridge at 10:00 at night provides an awe-inspiring view.  The city line is all lit up and you can tell you are suspended on a 7 mile bridge above the bay.  It's really scary and incredible.

My Newest Thing – Custom Silhouettes

I must have a form of adult ADD because I always do too many things at once.  As a way of diverting my attention from my house, laundry, Watch Me Draw!, and homework, I have started a new project:  Custom Silhouettes.

 

I’m really excited about this because it is special, beautiful and fun computer work in Adobe Photoshop (my love).  Peyton got to hang out with Mommy while I set up my new wall at Trinkets & Treasures llast week.  We even had to rent a cement drill because these walls are cement. 

 

Check it out!

Adventure Park and the 1,000 Tickets

With Tucker’s new job (which he still loves), we no longer have a Daddy around very much. I think the learning curve will cost us more of his time initially (or I hope just initially), but we really do see very little of him these days.

But we can make up for it here and there when we have a free Saturday afternoon such as last weekend. I had lots to do, so I got some “me” time and he got some “Daddy time”. Tucker took the girls to Adventure Park in Visalia and they had a blast playing miniature golf, bumper boats, air hockey, and more.

If you look closely, you can see Lexi’s glasses in the water. She dropped them in the water where the bumper boats were, so they had to fish them out!

The girl couldn’t get them out, so Tucker ended up doing it.

Then Lexi hit the big time! She hit a 1,000 ticket jackpot on the Price is Right machine!

Jordyn got 75. Luckily, they all split the tickets and got some really special, important prizes (can you tell I ‘love’ souveniers?).

Little Snapper

Peyton has been working on her snapping talent for quite a while now.  She was absolutely determined to really get the hang of it, to use the right fingers and to snap audibly. 

 

Before we knew it, she got it!  She’s quite a loud snapper and walks around all day snapping those little fingers!

 

Going Short Again

For a few months now, Jordyn has been asking me to cut her hair.  I hesitated for a long time.  I really like her long hair, and she loves ponytails for school so it worked great. 

 

But I finally said “okay” and she showed me how short she wanted it…which was approximately how short it looks in this first picture (where it’s half cut).  But she has such THICK hair, with lots of wave to it…so I forgot to take that into consideration.  Oops.  The end result is shorter than she’d requested…but really cute and she’s happy with it!

 

 

My New Love: Wood

It’s official:  I want a router with a table to cut on. 

I finally used a wood router for the first time the other day and I was completely smitten.  It was so fun!  I can’t believe I’ve sold so many boards with straight edges!  It looked so beautiful!  I wish I would have taken a picture of my final product….but there will be plenty more where that comes from.

 

 

And these are just some of the little “filler” items that sell well at Trinkets & Treasures.  I usually use my left over vinyl words/phrases and but some inexpensive tiles and *poof*, you have a cute little gift!

Our “Firsts”

Tucker’s first day of MBT.  Now its been two whole weeks and he really likes it.  His brain is hurting from learning so much (SOOO MUCH) new information.  But he feels excited, challenged and valued.  It is causing a huge shift in adjustment around here though.  My flexibility is LONG GONE.  Since he has been working from home for 18 months, we’ve tag-teamed a lot.  Now, he’s gone from 7:30-6:30 M-F.  Big difference!  But a steady paycheck feels worth it now. 

 

 

I tried to color code binders.  I’m trying to figure out when I’ll have the time to read ALL of this!  Seriously.  And speaking of Tucker being gone more…I’m so busy running around!  This challenge feels harder now, but I’m determined. 

 

Taking off for my first day of school at San Francisco State University!

Well, I had a head cold which wiped me out.  I drove 7 hours, sat in class for six, froze my butt off because I dropped my jacket somewhere on campus and didn’t realize till I was in class (and it’s always cold in SF).  Broke my back walking around campus with ALL these books (luckily teachers said we don’t have to bring them to class).  And felt really old with all the skinny-jean-wearers and total 80’s style fashion while I was wearing my boot cut jeans and realized yet again that I’m definitely not 20 anymore!

 

I loved my classes though!  I have great professors who really care about what they are teaching.  I spent 45 minutes walking with a partner taking turns being “blind” and leading the “blind”.  Very insightful!  Tomorrow I get to have lecture from an Opthomologist.  We’re just diving into this new world and although GETTING there isn’t easy, once I was there I was really glad.  Let’s hope that continues.  I found it interesting that there are THREE blind people in my program.  I wonder how that works? 

 

On the way home I took a different route that used more freeway.  It felt safer at such a late hour.  Left San Fran at 10pm and got home about 1:30.  But on this route I had to cross the Bay Bridge.  Not to sound wimpy, but the whole time I was thinking “how is it humanly possible to build a 7 mile, safe bridge?”.  It freaked me out a bit.  And I was extra tired because of my head cold so I ate a disgusting amount of food to stay awake.  Two tacos, a large Pepsi, donuts, chips, and I’m sure more. 

I could not do this without my mom and dad who are taking Peyton on Mondays, and getting the girls after school and keeping them until Tucker gets home.   That is a LOT of work, and I am forever indebted and grateful that they are so willing to help me in this scary endeavor!

Faith, Hope and Love is Our Common Goal

Last week, one of my Kingsburg friends sent me an email. She and I have known eachother for about four years, but in more of an acquaintance type way. Then, Jordyn and Olivia had 2nd grade together and have become friends. So we've gotten to know eachother a bit more. I really like her.

For some reason, the day I got this email was not a good day, and it overwhelmed me. It made me want to run and hide. Not at ALL because I'm ashamed of what I believe, but because I'm not -and never have been - a person who likes to debate or defend something in which I believe. So, I struggled with how to respond without getting defensive. Thankfully, feedback from Beth and my Mom really helped me respond with the right tone.

**************
(My responses are in blue after each paragraph)

You have been weighing on my mind, heavy, and then I read your post about death around you and I couldn't sit here and not reach out. I keep thinking our paths will cross and time for conversation will happen but with all the amazing things you are doing right now and my sporadic schedule I just don't see it happening. Thank you for reaching out. That is very thoughtful of you.

So I'm just gonna come out and tell you...I had a pretty intense dream about you back in July and have been praying ever since. I don't put much into dreams usually but there was so much surrounding it and what I experienced after it that I can't shake feeling purpose and meaning in it.
Those kind of dreams really stay with you. I have experienced such feelings after a very specific dream. Sometimes you know the meaning and sometimes it just leaves you with a feeling.

As you might already know I put a lot into faith and respect each person's belief system, I have to be honest for quite awhile I did not know that you were Mormon and was surprised when I found that out and so have tiptoed around the subject since.
And here's where emailing can cause division through misunderstanding so let me side note a minute, I don't have an issue with having friends from other faiths and belief systems. We are all people trying to live our lives the best we can and we all should be able to see that commonality in each other and love each other fully because of that!
I appreciate your respect for my beliefs. I feel the same mutual respect for all religions. You are so right in that we are all trying to fully love God, our neighbors, and ourselves.
It is best to communicate rather than draw conclusions when it comes to friends so I'm happy you felt you could share your feelings with me.

But let me give you a little history so you can understand my perspective, I worked for a Mormon family for a short time, I adored them and was deeply jealous of their sense of family. This was during a very lost time in my life. We parted on good terms and so when I began my search for what was missing in my life I started to study religion searching for truth. I looked deeply into many belief systems, the Mormon faith included, and finally in the end narrowed it down to God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit and the Bible because I believe that, it is not what we are on the outside and the works that we do, as modeled by the family I worked for, it's about being carried thru this fallen world by a power bigger then us and being forgiven when we don't deserve it.
Thank you for sharing your history with me. I think we all have our story to share and that can give us more compassion for one another.
I don't know how I would make it through my trials and tribulation without being carried by God! I have many family members who are Mormon...and just as many who are not. And the same with friends. Many of my closest friends are of different religions and I love the common grounds we can share as well as the faith-building experiences that bring us all closer to Christ. One of my nephews is studying to be a Pastor and we have had hours and hours of uplifting conversation about both our differences as well as our love for God.

I am not trying to evangelize you! I am just wanting you to know where I come from. In my studies I learned alot about Mormon theology and I have a very close friend who was raised Mormon and left and has shared her experience with me, and obviously that is not the faith I chose. As a result I have to work at not coming off arrogant and offending my friends, which I am not sure I am succeeding at in this email right now.
I have been exposed to those who have left their religions for many reasons also. You are not offending me at all. I have family members who have left the LDS church and I always pray for them to find their own way to have a relationship with God, regardless of which body of religion (if any) brings them there. Although I am opposed to hard-core religious debates or bashing, I am a proponent of communicating and sharing feelings (like this), experiences and even beliefs as this can knock down walls and pave ways for true friendships.

So what is my point, well, I know that God has you right in the middle of His heart and He has put me along side you for a season and there
is purpose in that.
I too can testify that God does indeed have me and all of us in his heart.
Faith-filled friends are so important. To lift and to edify in the name of Jesus Christ is what true friends do for each other. I have always appreciated feeling your conviction in Christ.

When I am around you I sense you know there is more to us and this place then what we tap into and that you are striving to find it. I sense your need for peace and for love and I see that you are right on the edge of knowing both. And I want to encourage you and strengthen you as you walk thru being a wife, a mother, a student, a juggler :)!
Yes, I definitely believe we as mortals don't tap into enough of the divine. I believe, as children of God, we are worthy of so much more than we realize. I try hard to remember this when I am "juggling" all of my duties! :-) During my most difficult times, I have absolutely turned to God to lift me, carry me and sustain me. We are always in need of His peace, grace and love. He is strong when we are weak. It is only through Jesus Christ who gives us the strength to be carried through life's ups and downs.

I just want you to know I am a friend and that I care deeply about you but that I am walking gently out of fear of causing division.
"Perfect love casts out fear." There is nothing that divides friendship when love abides. I, too, would not want division and don't think there will be. I think its great to openly share feelings and thoughts. Especially because I value Olivia as a friend for Jordyn. She is a top pick for me as far as being an authentic person for Jordyn to have a friendship with.

There has been times I have wanted to invite you to things that come out of my faith and have not done that and honestly don't know why. Maybe fear of rejection :). Anyways, all I really wanted to say was we celebrate a time called the Feast of Tabernacles (a Jewish feast) in our home. We started last year and it was incredible. It is a week long celebration of fellowship and joy. It is meant to be a time to celebrate the second coming of Christ which we take time to teach each night and it is heavily steeped in the power of the Holy Spirit, however it truly is a great time of family togetherness and love and joy and food! I want to invite your family to come if you would like too. The first night is Sept. 22 and it goes every night till Sept 29 it is our Christmas celebration in a sense. The teaching is in the beginning of the night so if you wanted to skip that and just come for the food and fellowship that would be fine. The start time will probably be about 6:30 and we hope to be eating by 7. I make a main dish each nite and ask that each family bring a side dish. We don't need to know ahead of time just show up.
That sounds like a wonderful spiritual tradition for your family! Thank you so much for thinking of our family to share this fellowship with.
We also have spiritual traditions and celebrations that we use to strengthen our families and our faith in the Lord Jesus Christ so I can appreciate this celebration. And I can relate to the "fear of rejection" when reaching out. ;-) I will let you know if we are able to make any of the evenings that week. Do kids come?


So I hope you followed me in this email, I truly have anxiety about people's different beliefs and honestly don't want to step on toes. I am just driven by the work that has happened in me and want to share it. I want victory and strength every woman's heart and all I know is what I have experienced
Thank you so much Channie. You are not stepping on my toes at all. I can feel your sincerity. I have also had many experiences where my heart has been touched by the Holy Spirit and the divinity of my roll as a wife and mother.

You are a kind friend! I truly do appreciate your honesty and willingness to share. It means a lot to me.

Jamie

*****************
(Her response to my response)

Hi Jamie,Thank you so much for your response, it was very thoughtful! Glad to know I can communicate freely with you, very refreshing.I appreciate Jordyn and Olivia's friendship as well, it is very hard in this world to find children who aren't caught up in a very adult world with adult attitudes. I work hard to keep my children as innocent to the world as I can and appreciate parents like yourself that seem to do the same.

As for the faith issue, your perspective is, again, refreshing! Thank you for your honesty. The Feast of Tabernacles will start on the 23rd not the 22nd. We will start at 6:30 and yes kids come! We had more children then adults most of the time last year. We are hoping to really make this year a celebration! I truly appreciate your friendship, you have been ready to help me when I have needed that and am thankful for that!

I have not been working and won't be for a couple weeks if you need any help with the girls while you are carrying a busy schedule I am available. I pray that the world around you is getting a little more joyful and that those that have experienced tragedy are being carried thru this time. Take care and hope to see you again before swim season starts :)! Channie

What I Love

 

I love my little girls.  I feel their days, months and years slipping through my fingers no matter how hard I try to slow it down.  Peyton is my last little sidekick during the day and I love it.  She is so entertaining and loving.  She lives her life as though she is on a big stage and she performs every move she makes.

I will miss having baby dolls laying everywhere in my house.  I love that Peyton has to bring her purse, sunglasses, sparkle shoes and baby doll when we leave the house.  She love her “hand bands” (head bands) and definitely picks her own outfits.  I learned the hard way through Lexi that it’s not worth fighting, so she gets to wear whatever combination she chooses. 

 

This baby doll buckled up made me laugh.  And it was really nice of Peyton to compliment me today and tell me “Mommy, you’re a very safe driver”.  And the other day she reminded me that I’m not supposed to text while driving.  Where does she learn these things?

 

Lessons Learned

Like most moms, I am always looking for effective ways to teach my kids responsibility. The last thing I want is for them to obey me because "I told them to". Nor do I want them to learn to obey simply because they don't want to get in trouble. Rather, I want them to learn self-monitoring and to develop their own internal system of good decision making. So I have to come up with the right rewards and consequences, that are predictable and reliable. That way they know its a result that THEY chose (whether good or bad) and not the result that mom-chose-because-she's-in-a-grumpy-mood-and-it's-not-fair.

But this is ALWAYS evolving for us. I'm constantly changing it up and second-guessing myself. Nothing seems to work for very long. But my goal is to be able to give a consequence without getting so upset, flustered, loud or reactionary. So to do that, I have to be prepared ahead of time.

Last week, I realized I wasn't.

I found myself stumbling "if you choose not to _________ since this is the third time I've asked you, then you will........uh.....I mean I will take away........um......then you will go to your room".

And I realized I had no currency. There are not that many things that I can take away from my kids that have enough value to kick them into action. That sounds strange, but it's true.

No Wii? (we don't play the Wii during the week anyway)
No friends over? (we don't have friends over predictabley enough for that to be an immediate consequence)
No T.V.? (we don't watch TV during the week)

You get the idea.

So my newest idea is a consequence jar and a rewards jar.

For the consequence jar: They helped me come up with these. Things like: pull 20 weeds, clean your sister's room, write 20 lines, go to bed 30 minutes early that night.

For the rewards jar: We have this Coupon Book for Kids (sort of like this click here).

So Jordyn was first to get the consequence jar. She chose "clean your sister's room". It was a good one!

The we get to last night. We got home late from a fun afternoon at Grandma and Grandpa's house. I told the girls "whoever I think is doing a great job taking a shower, getting pajamas on, putting clothes in the dirty hamper and hanging up their towel gets to pick from the Rewards Jar!".

Lexi was done first (as always) and picked her reward: "This coupon entitles you to pick whatever show you want to watch, no matter what anyone else is watching". She was happy, and is excited to use it today.

Jordyn was done second. Her coupon said: "This coupon entitles you to one session of everyone in your family telling you all the things they love about you".

Immediate tears. That is so not fair. Lexi got a waaayyy better coupon!

(I was frustrated. Darned ungrateful kids.)

But then I remembered that they are kids. And that's a normal reaction. And it was my job to teach her why that was such a great coupon.

So even though we were all tired, I gathered everyone before bed and said "OK, Jordyn gets her reward right now. Let's all tell Jo what we love about her". So we went around the room. Tucker loved her adventureous and willing nature giving the example of how willing she was to help with the service project of pruning the grape vineyards with our Stake that morning. Lexi loved that she was such a fun sister and that she plays with her. Peyton loved that Jordyn likes to play "mom and baby and give me a bottle". And I loved how smart, beautiful and helpful she is.

By the end of her "love session", she was beaming. She no longer thought it was a dumb coupon, and I think she learned a little life lesson last night.

Blah

I've wanted to post about my first day of school and Tucker's first week of his job. But instead I've developed a head cold that's made me feel like I have a tournequet around my head the past four days.

And I was JUST thinking last week "I love not being sick, I'm so thankful I've had such a long healthy streak". Shoulda knocked on wood.

Even feeling crappy, Peyton made me chuckle tonight (not unusual with that kid) when she came up to me distraught and upset. She had some nail polish in her hand and in a whiney, regretful tone said "Mom, I painted my favorite thumb!", as though it was the end of the world. How dare anything get on the beloved thumb that gets sucked! She's quite protective of it.

And even feeling crappy, when we were doing homework after school and Jordyn realized she forgot 2/3 of her homework in her desk...I loaded everyone up in the disgustingly hot car, with a humungous headache and took her back to school to get it. I'm sure I could have let her "learn a lesson" and get a consequence tomorrow...but I think she learned a better one the way we did it.

And even feeling crappy, I made salmon, green beans and quinoa (for the first time) for dinner. We ate without Tucker because he had late meetings and of course the kids complained about most of the dinner.

And now, there is nothing I want to do. I'm doing laundry so the kids have clothes to wear tomorrow for school pictures, but besides that I just want to sit and do nothing and hope my head stops feeling the size of a house tomorrow.

Tennis – Take 1

Until last weekend, my girls had only experienced Tennis on the Wii.  And, even though they are actually really good at the game, the actual court is REALLY different than the Wii!  So I wanted to show them the real thing.

 

Even though I often tell my girls to “stop growing” and to “stay little for mommy”…there really are some fun parts about them getting older.  Now that our youngest is nearing four years old, we can pick-up-and-go a lot easier than ever before.  Any time I wanted to take them to play tennis before, I was thinking about a ball hitting a baby’s face, or a baby crawling on the hard floor, or bottles, diapers, naps, too hot, etc.

All of that is behind us and last Saturday was only in the 80’s for the high temp.  So it was absolutely beautiful, perfect time to go. 

From the minute we got there, the girls were in love.  They loved how different it was than the Wii.  They loved the challenge of hitting the ball (missing 80% at first!).  Peyton was an amazing “ball girl” and looooooved that role.  She tried hitting a few times.  But she thought it was so fun to be in charge of getting the balls and bringing them to us.  After two hours, the girls didn’t want to leave!  So it was a fun new adventure for our family that I hope to keep doing!